Darning Socks

Haven't Done This in a While

2012-01-30T10:22:00.001-05:00

I'm sitting in a classroom at Park Chapel waiting to be joined by other staff members to pray for a group of Jr. high students that regularly attend our Wednesday night ministry for Jr. High students.

Honestly, I'm just anxious and waiting to, in gratitude, receive those who come and pray with them on behalf of the students at Nexus. If you read this and feel led to pray for then as week, please do so.

Grace and peace,

Oh ya...

2009-05-11T21:12:00.003-05:00

Well, I just blogged a few days ago and didn't realize that I had left out a pretty big change in our lives. Here's the scoop...

As of May 1, I am no longer the Student Minister at Nashville Christian Church. Nicole and I made the decision in late March. I told Rick, our Senior Minister, on a Wenesday. He had a heart attack the following Friday (unrelated), so I ended my stint as youth minister at NCC by preching. It was great to be able to preach that much. I feel like I need to be preaching more, a feeling that was confirmed by many as I left NCC. Although it all happened pretty quick, we left on very good terms with the church and still have many friends there. The hardest, HARDEST, part was leaving the kids. They are awesome and we love them dearly. They have me two fantastic gifts as we left that I'll hand up in our next home to remind me daily of the two years we spent following Jesus with them.

Nicole and I have moved to Greenfield and plan to settle down here for a while. We'll move our stuff up at the end of the month when our lease at the house ends. For now we're held up in Scott and Sally's house while we look for apartments. Hopefully we'll have a place by the time we have to have our stuff out of the old house.

In related news, after a job hunt that has lasted a little over a month, I am employed at a bank (what a shift, I know). I will be a retail banker, handling the opening of savings accounts, CD's, checking accounts, etc - and will also have other responsibilities equal to that of a teller. Opportunities for advancement are numerous, so hopefully soon I'll be getting those opportunities.

You're continued prayers are welcomed as we start a new venture in life. No...we're not giving up on the church, by the way. We'll be attending Park Chapel Christian Church here in Greenfield. It is a very good church with which we are very familiar (Nicole grew up going there and I interned there after I graduated college).

Hope you all are well. We love you all.

Peace!

Pain

2009-05-01T11:09:00.004-05:00

At several different times over the past five or six years I've tried reading Orthodoxy, the classic work by G.K. Chesterton. I've never made it past the first chapter. I mention this because I think it was in this first chapter that Chesterton mentions what has become a great apologietic for God (I, however, admit that this argument may have come from C.S. Lewis. Since the great writers of Christianity often write far above my infinitely stupid head, I sometimes get them mixed up). He states that often those who object to a loving God point to the pain and suffering in the world as proof of his non-existence. Chesterton retorts that if we have to explain pain, they have to explain beauty. Since I first read it, I've always though of this as the great apologietic. It made so much since to me. If it were all left to chance, why would chance have created beauty and pleasure? And so on...

I'm now at a point where I'm wondering about the validity of apologitics in the traditional sense, but that's another blog.

I think maybe I've had it backwards. Perhaps the great apologetic (and by apologetic I just mean, something that causes us to reach for God - no matter how we understand him) is actually pain.

Go with me here.

I was just listening to a Jar of Clay record as I cleaned out my car. It's an album called Good Monters. The seventh track is called Oh My God. The song makes great lyrical use of word pictures and creates this fast moving stream of images in the listeners mind of all the horrible scenarios there could be on earth. You think of it, they put it in the song. The first verse goes like this...

Oh my God, look around this place

Your fingers reach around the bone

You set the break and set the tone

Flights of grace, and future falls

In present pain

All fools say, "Oh my God"

The song's climax comes in a long list of terrible circumstances and the last line rings out, Oh my God.

It's rare in a moment, or a season, of pain to not hear people crying out, "Oh my God." Even those who don't know God, don't want to know God or don't believe in God often find themselves, in the middle of life's worst places, screaming for something bigger than themselves, bigger than the pain, to rescue them.

I often feel like pain always points to God, and that it has to be that way. If everything was good, then we'd all be perfect. Because lets face it, the pain in the world comes from us. So if there wasn't any pain, there would have to be a world full of perfect, selfless people who never did anything to hurt anyone. And if we were all perfect and never hurt anyone, then we wouldn't need to be rescued from anything. And then we would need a higher power, a loving God. We'd just need to eat, drink and be merry! And we wouldn't be looking for God either.

The very fact that there's pain and that we find it unnatural points me to God. There are things in this life that you can only learn through pain. And so the cry of ever mother who losses a baby and every war-torn family and every thirsty child is "Oh my God." Because pain leads us to God. It has too. It's why God doesn't just relieve the pain we cause, because he knows its one of the best ways to bring us back to him.

It's not all that comforting, I know. And it's thoughts in process. I guess there will be more later. Peace.

Three Things

2009-02-25T21:16:00.004-05:00

Hey all...

I just wanted to take a quick second to share with you all three things that are awesome. First...

The second funniest thing on TV lately was the Presidential address to congress last night (Tuesday). Not because of content, but because of the ridiculous standing ovations every six sentences. I seriously watched it just to laugh at Nancy Pelosi rocketing out of her chair every three minutes. And did you see her that one time, when she started to get up - but then paused - and then saw that everyone else was standing, so then went ahead and jumped up. It was hilarious.

Secondly, the funniest thing on TV lately is the Joaquin Phoenix interview on Letterman. Here is a clip of the highlights...

Lastly, you all need to know about this website called Fabchannel. It is a website that provides free concert videos of independent (loose use of the term) bands and it has a great selection. Every genre - rock, metal, songwriters, hip hop, R&B, Soul, etc, etc. Bands like Bright Eyes, Iron & Wine, Buzzcocks, Ani DiFranco, Damien Rice, The Presidents of the United States of America, Jimmy Eat World, Azure Ray, Nada Surf - and the list goes on. Check it out, spend work time watching concerts, its a great site. The concerts are filmed in clubs in Europe and posted online. Its a community that supports independent music and its awesome. Oh ya, did I say I liked it?

Peace.

On Humility

2009-02-21T10:35:00.007-05:00

I used to be humble.

That statement in itself is arrogant, however, I think it is at least somewhat true. I think there was a time, early on, when I started taking Jesus seriously that I did act humbly in most circumstances. After all, I knew nothing about our faith. I had little biblical knowledge. I had always belonged to a 40 person church. I hadn't spent a great deal of time in study of scripture, the church, culture. I was a kid right out of high school who didn't care about scripture or the church or culture. So when I started taking Jesus seriously, I knew I had no right to make any assumptions about anything. My opinions were tendered with hesitation and often given the disclaimer of "I"m new at this, so I could be way off base." I knew that Jesus was real, I knew that he died for me, I knew that he wanted me to love others. I also knew that I thought he was calling me to preach. Which made the not knowing thing tough to deal with. So, I studied and prayed and, after some hesitancy, preached. I only had something to say because of scripture and because I felt called to, I preached, despite this feeling in my gut that said, "Hey, many of these people have been Christians longer than you've been alive. What could you possibly say to them?" I had no answer, so I just prayed and studied and preached. And here's the big one - I learned. I sought out people who could teach me and had conversations. I took every opportunity to listen to what people around me had to say. And I learned.

I remember the moment where it all started to change, the moment where I knew that I would not always be humble (if I ever really was). I was sitting in the fellowship hall of my home church in Fairfield, IL. There were about 10-12 of us sitting around a few tables and I made a comment about scripture. I forget the gist of the comment, but I know that the Red Sea was involved because after I said the comment I asked, "It was the Red Sea, right?"

Ten or fifteen minutes later one of the ladies who went to our church made a comment about me. She said that one of the reasons my preaching was so touching was because it came from an honest, humble place. And then she referenced my asking if it was the Red Sea. And right then and there, because she gave me such a nice compliment, I had a moment of pride. Now, I don't necessarily think there was anything wrong with me thinking, "Wow, that makes me feel good. I really appreciate that comment." The moment where it changed was the following thought I had. I thought, "I wonder what happens when I loose that innocence, that naivety. What will happen when I do know a lot. Will I still be an honest and humble preacher. Or will I just be another guy that knows it all, who certainly is not humble in spirit?"

I've been reminded this morning that it has all definitely changed. I now know quite a bit about scripture, church and culture and I have a lot of opinions about things that fall into the category of "religious" and "spiritual" and "church

I sat in a circle of good men and women this morning and had the same, nearly identical, conversation with them about the same issue - which I thought was tired and board - and I thought I knew what both sides were interested in and what both sides were going to say, and of course, I thought I knew the answer. This topic and issues aren't important. What is important is that I was only partly right - and my attitude was completely wrong. I sat as I listened to a wise man named Jerry tell us that we needed to do both things we were talking about, that they were inclusive of each other and not mutually exclusive. And despite the fact that I was quite bored with the conversation, I came away having gotten a large dose of humility. My opinions are still that of an opinionated, naive youngster who may have knowledge, but who often times lacks wisdom. That young man came up against true wisdom and humility today - and he lost.

I am realizing this morning that humility goes a long way, and I need it. I'm often time too hellbent on my way, my view, my frustration, my, my, my - and I'm wrong. I'm realizing that I need to be making a concerted effort to put myself in a position of learning. I need humility. I don't know how to get it and I'm sure it'll take a lifetime to maintain, but I want to live in humility. God forgive me for the years that I have walked proudly. May I, may we, walk humbly before the Lord.

Playground Fears put to Rest

2009-01-29T10:20:00.007-05:00

I remember being scared on the playground in middle school. Our Jr. high took up a whole block in the middle of our small town. The front half of the block was the school building, built in the middle part of the last century, the back half was a large gravel playground, a large basketball court with four goals and a large section of grass that held a kickball field. I was at the opposite end of the gravel part, as far from the doors as possible, when the bell rang signaling the end of recess and the beginning of another snooze-fest. I cannot remember what prompted the thought that prompted the fear, but what I felt is accurately described as fear. Not fear that paralyzes, just fear that makes you respect the scope of something.

So, what was I thinking about?

Marriage. For those of you laughing you either know what I mean or think that I'm joking. I'm not joking. As I walked across the gravel to class, I wondered what would happen if I married the wrong person. I wondered if she'd be pretty. I wondered if I'd be happy. Some pretty deep stuff for middle school. I had that feeling in the pit of your stomach that comes with fear, and then I convinced myself that there's no way I could make the wrong decision because I would not marry someone I didn't love. I remember having that thought a couple of times around that age.

I'm not scared anymore. I've made my choice and never regretted it. My wife has brought to me the greatest times in my life and has changed me, in ways that many will never know, for the better. She, sometimes even more than God (although I know that's maybe not how it's supposed to be), has inspired and shown me how to be a follower of Jesus, and how to be in relationship.

There's a story that not many of you know. We were in Florida with my parents and two her friends once. She tried to talk to me about some things that were going on. I responded by trying to break up with her. We fought, cried and talked through the night. She fought me for...me. And as I took a bathroom break from the conversation I realized that I was going to marry her and that when I did, I'd tell this story, sometime, as a testament to my appreciation of my wife, the one who fought for me, to make me better than I am.

As many of you do know, we still fight. But many times when we're "passionately disagreeing" - you know, when we're fighting and we're both like "Who did I marry?" - these words ring in my ears...

"For better or for worse. For richer or for poorer. In sickness and in health."

Now, I know that some of you may read this and think, "What, why here. This is weird. Awkward." - But I have my reasons. The only people who read this are our friends and family, and so I wanted to take a few minutes of a random day, unprompted, to again declare semi-publicly, that I am married to the woman I hoped I'd be married to all those years ago on the playground. The one who dispels all the fear.

Nicole, my beloved. I love you.

The Cuttest, Smelly Thing Ever

2009-01-26T16:17:00.002-05:00

All right...

I'm working from home this afternoon and watching Ella. She just did something very cute and stinky that I wanted to share - it's a new habit she's developed. Inevitably during any given day she will crap her diaper. When we smell it we'll say, "Ella, did you poop?" She will then laugh, pick up whatever she's playing with and run to a distant corner of the house. Ahh...so cute and yet so smelly.

Welp...I'm off to change a dirty diaper. Peace.

Before I Leave My Skin

2009-01-24T21:36:00.006-05:00

On Thursday night Nicole was in lab, after a fun and adventurous evening with Ella I had put her to bed and I was doing the dishes and cleaning up around the house. As I loaded the dishwasher I began to think and dream about some things that I'd really like to do someday. Thus, this blog. What follows is a list of things that I'd someday like to do and my comments about them. While it is certainly presumptuous to assume that any of you would want to know the things that I'd like to do someday, I thought someone might enjoy it.

One other thing I should point out - these are numbered and so there is some semblance of importance, the importance changes daily, so don't read too much into the order. Oh, and I did 11 because of Spinal Tap.

And commencing...

11. Skydive

This is not something that I want to do someday, but it is something that Nicole wants to do someday and because of that I have the sneaking suspicion that when she finally gets around to it she'll drag me off of the plane with her. So I figured I'd just put it on the list anyway.

10. Attend a church that meets in a park under a pavilion

The idea, as many of you probably know, comes from the book Crazy Love by Francis Chan (Tim, I still can't let this one go). Not sure if I want to work at a church like that or just be a really good attender - probably just attend - but I love the idea (both metaphorically and literally) of a church without walls.

9. Move to a place I love and stay

That's code. It could also be anywhere right now because Nashville, IN sucks @$$ - not the church - the church is a very special place, the town died 20 years ago and forgot to notify the inhabitants.

8. Relational Tithe

There's a group of people that Shane Claiborne talks about in a couple of his books (and every conference he speaks at) that practice this odd little thing called Relational Tithe. When there is a need you let the community know and everyone who can pitches in. It is baring one another's burdens, in relationship, across the country. I'd like to be a part of that with some peeps.

7. Run, and finish, a marathon

I like to run, like Forest (not quite as much), and would like to be in shape enough to finish one. Maybe Boston?

6. Owning a farm in East Tennessee

This one is a retirement dream. It includes a plot of land in the foothils, a farmhouse, a barn and a bunkhouse with 8 bedrooms, showers and a common meeting room. The purpose for the bunkhouse is for slaves - just kidding. We'd like to host pastoral retreats here and lead them into some ancient practices for spiritual formation, including but not limited to - basic asceticism, practicing the presence and good 'ol fashioned dairy farmin'. The retreats would culminate with the pastors' recommitment to his or her spiritual life and the development of a Rule of Life and a practical plan to take back to the church to implement that would bolster spiritual growth in the life of the church, preferably a mentoring strategy.

5. Open for one of my favorite bands with Taylor Brown and Company

Perhaps Death Cab or the Cardinals. However, I'd settle for Duran Duran or Devo.

4. Play w/ Taylor Brown and Company enough to make a modest living

A lot of small to medium sized gigs and a few average selling records is all I'm asking for Taylor - can you get a brother out of IN?

3. Play a song, onstage, w/ the Cardinals

"After making headway into the indie music world as the guitar and mandolin player for Taylor Brown and Company, Kenny Gooch got the thrill of his musical life last night by being invited on stage to play a rousing rendition of the Cardinals' Cold Roses beauty Dance All Night" - the headline would read.

2. Hospice Chaplain

Being in ministry, I'm surprised by how many weeks go by feeling like I didn't do any ministry. Visiting and caring for people on their death bed, and families with loved ones facing their mortality, would certainly cut some of the bull shit out.

1. Walk Ella down the isle

All right, this one I have mixed feelings about. But come on? What father doesn't want to have the honor of giving his daughter away? I just hope the bastard is worth it. But in all seriousness, it will be a joy to have worked so hard to help her prepare for life, to have helped her find Jesus, to have helped her through relationship after relationship and then get to give her to the next man with whom she will do the same thing. It will be one of the saddest and happiest days of my life.

Yet, I'm thrilled now with the comfort of knowing that she desperately needs me and that the door to the room where she sleeps is only steps away.

And there you have it (this one goes to) 11 things I'l like to do before I leave my skin (a veiled Taylor Brown reference). You may think their stupid or outlandish, but even though the world keeps trying to beat it out of me - I refuse to stop dreaming.

New York, New York - Final Day

2009-01-10T22:06:00.002-05:00

I love New York, but I'm tired of freezing to death.

I awoke this morning to Nicole's voice, "KENNY, IT'S 7:30." Our intention was to awake around 6:45 and be out of the room headed for the 53rd Street Gourmet Deli by 7:15. However, we had a bit of a late night last night due to me having to go down to the lobby to blog and Nicole being slightly addicted to the first book in the Twilight series (she's now on the second).

Anyway, back to the story, this was a problem - waking up late, that is - because we had to be 9 city blocks away in 15 minutes, and for those of you who are note aware, most city blocks are the size of 2 normal blocks and New York City blocks are the size of 3 or 4. We jumped up, did the minimal amount of getting ready and were out the door by 7:47. However, even at a brisk pace we were going to be pushing it close.

We bolted out of the hotel doors and onto the Park Avenue sidewalk and ran from 50th Street to 53rd Street. Six blocks left, but only about 7 minutes to get there (the deli is on 53rd, but it is west of us). We were now walking at a very brisk pace, faster than our normal walk, which is in-and-of itself pretty fast, and as we came to the last block I began jogging again. My heart sank, no one was in front of the deli marquee I saw fast approaching that read "53rd Street Gourmet Deli." I slowed to a walk as I got in front of the deli and looked around in a panic (I had run ahead of Nicole to try and stop them from leaving us). Setting in the deli were 5 perfectly normal looking tourists and a man in an orange hat, standing, and talking to them. My soul hoped and as I entered the deli I read the back of his hat, which said "NYCTRIPS.COM" - the company we'd booked the tour with.

Ahh, we had made it...

Of the prescheduled event on the vacation - the things that came with the package Nicole picked out - this was probably the one I had most looked forward to - a personal, walking tour of Ground Zero and Liberty Island (you know, where Lady Liberty resides!). Tony, our tour guide, gave us a brief overview of the plan and then we boarded the E subway train headed for the World Trade Center.

The E track began running in the 70's when the WTC towers opened; it's soul purpose was to bring people right to the World Trade Center. A sadly looming thought as we boarded the train that would take us to its final destination, which no longer stands. We exited the train and Tony told us about how the subway tunnels were used to evacuate people on that horrendous day in 2001.

As we climbed the stairway and daylight again came into our view we were standing right next to St. Paul Church, the oldest standing public building in New York. It is pre-Revolutionary war and was one of the few buildings on the southern tip of Manhattan to survive both of the great fires of New York (1776 and 1835). It was beautiful and majestic. We turned, then, to our right...and there it was. A giant hole surrounded by a fence. It had the look of a brand new construction site. Cranes could be seen in the air, towering above the 10-foot fence. Draped on the outside of the fence were picture of the new WTC that was now underway, renderings of Freedom Tower (# 1), and the other 4 that are planned. They also showed renderings of the "footprints" of the old towers that will be made into monuments commemorating the old WTC, which had its own zip code oddly enough, and the victims of the September 11th attacks.

We viewed Ground Zero from all sides and took many amazing pictures, which I'm sure will make their way onto Facebook in the coming days. The new tower one, Freedom Tower, will house office space, much like the old towers, up to the 82nd floor. There will be an observation deck on the 110th floor, which will be the top of the building that will be the exact height, to the foot, of the original tower. One of the amazing things about the site is that all the buildings around it are so tall, and the towers were twice as tall as most of them. We also walked through the "South Bridge," a foot bridge which is the only remaining piece of architecture from the original World Trade Center. Another interesting fact: The Port Authority of New Jersey and New York owns the WTC land. However, two months prior to the attack on 9/11, a billionaire realty investor named Larry Silverstein, who had always dreamed of controlling the WTC property received approval on a 99-year lease of 1, 2, 4 and 5 WTC. The lease required Silverstein, via Silverstein Properties, to correct any damage done to the properties during his lease. You get the picture. Thankfully the property was insured by 24 insurance companies at a total price of $3.55 billion per occurance. The reason it took so long to start rebuilding was because Silverstein was waiting for his insurance money to come in. He got his wish. Now that he controls WTC property, but he's paying a multi-million dollar a month lease on empty property.

We walked form there to the ferry that took us to the Statue of Liberty. We got some great pictures and walked up the inner stairs of the lower platform to the observation deck (the highest point now allowed). After a few minutes of taking in the greatest view of the Manhattan skyline there is and trying to look up Lady Liberty's toga, we departed back to Manhattan.

We took the Subway back to 50th Street, feet exploding with pain, ate at Applebee's and went back to the hotel for an afternoon read/nap. We relaxed from 3 to 5, got up and went out on the town again. We walked Borders to get New Moon, the second book in the Twilight series. Then, on to FAO Swartz, the famous toy store from Home Alone, and got Ella a stuffed animal - she loves stuffed animals.

From there we walked over to Time's Square and ate at the same famous pizza joint we ate at after Chicago, went on to get some dessert at Roxy's Delicatessen and then came back here to relax. We're now packed up and ready to read, watch SNL and sleep before our 7:30 departure for the airport tomorrow morning.

As I began with, I love New York but I'm sick of freezing to death. It's gotten colder each day we've been here, and the cold temperatures here are even worse that in Indiana. Today, for the last half of the day, we walked around in the wet snow, noses read and cheeks burning. We have thoroughly enjoyed our time in NYC. It has been the best vacation ever and we still think we'd like to spend more time here.

But a few things pull us homeward - the biggest and best one being our beautiful daughter. Having a few days to ourselves has been awesome, but we wouldn't trade daily life with her for all the excitement of New York you could pack into 1000 lifetimes.

We'll put this series of blogs to bed with these poignant words from R.A. -

"I'm fractured from the" walk "and I wanna go home" "Farewell to the city...we had to go."

Goodnight New York City, you truly are one of the greatest cities in the world.

New York, New York - Day 3

2009-01-09T23:55:00.003-05:00

It's the end of another day here in the Big Apple. I sit in the lobby of a world renowned hotel that can't seem to keep the internet working in the rooms - only in the lobby. The chandelier above me is large an ornate, the floor is a meticulously detailed mural of ancient Greek looking figures and each sitting area (there are about 12) boasts large area rugs. It's a grad place that was intimidating at first, but now makes me laugh. Man folks are quite polite and don't make nasty faces at our unwillingness to meet the hotel lobby's dress code. It is a nice and quite international place. I've heard dozens of languages and seen a diversity that I don't often come across in Nashville.

We slept in today because we were up so late last night. We took our time getting ready and were headed to lunch, our first activity, around 11:30. We ate at Burger Heaven, which boasts (with all other New York hamburger joints) "the best burgers in town." They were delicious, and we enjoyed a simple American cheeseburger and cottage cheese. From there we began the long trek from 50th Street up to 79th.

We had decided, from a few options given to us by the vacation package, to visit the Museum of Natural History. I should mention that we choose this because the picture showed a large dinosaur exhibit and neither of us had experienced the joy of seeing real dinosaur bones reconstructed into their original forms before. We walked up Madison Avenue to 66th Street and over, through Central Park, to Central Park West and up to 79th Street. We were surprised that the only dinosaurs featured were the ones in the picture, which was kind of a drag. But we decided to try and make the best of it. We walked into the first exhibit "African Land Animals" and noticed that it was a dead zoo. Thats right, they were very large stuffed animals behind glass. Our assumption was that they were dead carcases that had been wonderfully taxidermied. Once we made it into the sections about the people, showing the tribal artifacts of ancient Africa, Asia and North and South America we were slightly more interested - but only slightly. We made it though the forest section, the wonder of biodiversity section and the mammal section (quickly) but we were tired from the 30 plus block walk and decided to head back to the hotel. The walk up had taken over an hour and so we decided to fork up $4 and hit the subway. A five minute ride later and we were off at 50th Street and walking over 3 or 4 blocks to our hotel.

Feet tired and aching, we rested. Nicole read Twilight, her new obsession that will soon become mine, and I surfed the television before discovering the problem with the internet and making my way to the lobby to catch up on some e-mails and such. Six o'clock rolled around and we got read and departed to Chipotle Grill for dinner.

After we ate, sat and talked we walked through Times Square, grabbed some cookies, and made our way to the Ambassador Theatre were we were to see Chicago: The Musical. We were both skeptical, Nicole had previously seen a Broadway musical and enjoyed it, but wasn't dying to go back. I had never seen one, but I wanted to - however, really only because I want to be able to say I have seen one. Chicago was entertaining and funny, at times, but it drug on far too long. The highlight was that the lead part of Roxie Hart was played by none other than Melora Hardin - we know her best as Jan Levinson, Michael's boss/girlfriend from the Office! It was awesome to see here sing and dance live. We were glad for the show to be over though.

We were hungry, so we grabbed a bite to eat at a pizza joint that a lot of famous people had visited, and that was the official pizza place of the Yankees, and then headed back to the hotel. And here I sit in the lobby. I came down to plot our attack on tomorrow (we'll tour ground zero, the Statue of Liberty and lower Manhattan from 8:00 AM to 1:00 PM. The night is wide open after that.

The dimly lit lobby that was comfortable and romantic has just been brightly lit and two security people stand to my right up the stairs, probably looking for a reason to kick me out, as a group of teenagers get their group picture taken under the large chandelier (my daughter will never go out in New York alone at their age, wearing that!

Only one question has been driving me nuts: If this city never sleeps, does anyone ever dream (Rosie Thomas)?

Farewell for now.

New York, New York - Day 2

2009-01-08T23:41:00.008-05:00

We're going to move here. Well, that's how being here a few days makes us feel. There is something electric about being here - all the people, the sights, the sounds. So much history, so much connection to the past. Perhaps is feels that way simply because we've seen so much of this city on the "Silver Screen." From the beginning of radio broadcasting to the beginning of television broadcasting, Breakfast at Tiffany's to SNL, the towers, the Brooklyn Bridge, the Statue of Liberty. Everyone, even if you've never had the desire to live here, has seen so much of this city. It's connected to so much.

And I was telling Nicole, as we stood atop the Empire State Building, that I see God here as much as I do in the hills of Nashville (IN) or east Tennessee. All the people that he created, that he loves. The amazing intelligence he blessed humans with, to build things that stretch so far into the open sky, and that stand for so long. In the creativity that is expressed here on Broadway and Greenwich Village. Sure, there is a certain feeling of the absence of God as well, actually the reality is more that he is largely ignored, not absent - where can we go that he is not? But churches, at least here in Manhattan, seem to be relics that stand a testament to something that used to be important to the larger culture as opposed to representation of grace and peace. But there is no denying his presence either.

This morning we awoke around 9:30, showered and headed to the Rockefeller Center to grab our free tickets to the NBC Experience Tour (they came as a part of the vacation package). We arrived at the NBC Store and picked them up, bought some coffee to vitalize us and then got in line. The tour took us to some of the studios that were available for touring at the time. The studios you see depend on the time you take the tour and what is open at the time). We got to stand on the set where Brian Williams reports the NBC Nightly News and look in on the CNBC Newsroom. Of their broadcasts, 12 1/2 hours are live. From their we went up and looked in on the SNL studio. Originally made for radio broadcasting, it is now home to the greatest sketch comedy show ever. Despite the fact that it large in terms of a studio, it is amazing that they get so much out of such a small room.

From there we walked up from 49th Street to 59th Street and then into the south side of Central Park. The first thing we saw was the bridge where Macaulay Culkin hides in Home Alone 2: Lost in New York. We then walked around the Time Warner Center and headed in the direction of Bloomingdale's, we thought. Turns out it wasn't where I thought it was, but once we asked a nice gentleman selling sour crout, we got headed in the right direction. We took 58th Street headed east towards Lexington Avenue, however, we passed Broadway and saw Times Square about 10 blocks down and decided (a block past Broadway) to walk there instead and grab some Pizza at a hole-in-the-wall-but-famous pizza joint, Ray's. It was fantastic, New York style pizza - greasy, thin and tasty. After that we took 47th Street back to the Waldorf to relax in the room before our next adventure.

The next adventure was more like a dream. Massages in the 19th floor Guerlain Spa at the Waldorf (also part of the vacation). We entered a Zen-like, white tiled, ascetically pleasing, modernly decorated reception area where our shoes were taken and replaced with comfy white slippers and where we were served champaign on fancy trays. The treatment began with a soothing foot bath and continued with an hour and a half of relaxing massage. It was good after the few hours of walking we experienced earlier.

We went back to the room, got ready and headed out for the night. We had planned the night and we were on our way to the first destination: Ruby Tuesday's on Times Square. Sound funny, but Ruby's is one of our favorite restaurants for both dining and nostalgic reasons (many nights in Knoxville were spent there - but most of you know that). This was a bit fancier than the ones in K-town. The downstairs was the bar area which only served burgers and was more laid back. The actual restaurant and full menu was served on the second floor overlooking 41st Street between 7th Avenue and Broadway. It was very beautiful. We ate light, salad bar and soup for Nicole, salad bar and mini's for me.

Then it was off to the Empire State Building. We had decided, despite the websites warning of a 2 hour wait, to brave the 86 floors to see New York in a way only the Empire State Building's Observatory can provide. Upon arrival, we didn't have to wait at all - straight through security, immediately to the ticket counter and directly to the elevators. Up 80 floors, walk to the left, up six more floors in a different elevator, and then onto the observatory deck. The inside was nicely heated, but we decided to brave the serious winds to see New York from her tallest building. You could see everything - we gazed North to Central Park and the Upper East and West Sides, South to the Financial District and the Statue of Liberty, West to Jersey City, Hoboken and the Hudson River, East to the Brooklyn Bridge, Brooklyn and Long Island City. We were stunned, and though the winds were ridiculous, we found it so hard to pull ourselves off of the outside deck and back inside. Finally we decided to descend, re-entering earth's atmosphere and setting our feet safely back on the solid ground of 5th Avenue.

We decided that we'd walk up 5th avenue back to 49th Street and then take it over to Park Avenue and back into the warmth of our hotel. As we walked we came across the New York City Public Library, a excellently old and pillared building that is reminiscent of the Capitol Building in Washington. Looking inside the windows at the top you could see that the ceiling was incredibly ornate, the golden hand-etched detail that you don't see in modern architecture that throws you gracefully back into yester-year. It was there, as we stood doing the tourist thing (taking pictures) that we noticed the barricade draped in a cloth that read "Bryant Park" and then my mind remember seeing on a map in the hotel room that Bryant Park was on the back side of the library (for those of you who don't have wives that watch, religiously, Project Runway, Bryant Park is in the middle of the Fashion District and is where all the runway shows are during fashion week). We walked back to the park and to the middle where we saw, from a distance that there was an ice skating rink. We began to walk towards it and then were stopped by a security guard. As we walked the boundary line we realized that they were setting up for filming. I walked forward and asked a man carrying a giant light, "What are you guys setting up for?" he replied, "Ugly Betty." Yep, that famous TV show was filming right before our eyes. We took it in for as long as we could stand, saw them film for about 15 minutes and then made our way up to 49th, over to Park Avenue and back to our hotel.

I now sit listening to a Rosie Thomas album, These Friends of Mine, that was recorded in Sufjan Stevens' Brooklyn apartment and that consists of folk songs largely inspired by her time in NYC.

There's nothing we've experienced that we don't love. Even the aching, throbbing feet that now lead us to bed testify to a beautiful second day. In the words of Rosie Thomas, "New York is lovely in the wintertime" and "I wish I could take you with me / all the way to New York City / We could get an apartment there."

Maybe. Someday. Maybe not. Who knows?

New York, New York - Day 1

2009-01-07T23:37:00.008-05:00

I'm writing from the 12th floor of the Waldorf-Astoria Hotel on Park Avenue in Manhattan. Nicole's Christmas present to me was trip to the Big Apple. We flew out of Indianapolis this morning at 6:35 and arrived in Long Island around 10:30. Since we flew in over an hour away (MacArthur Airport is the only airport Southwest flies into - and we flew SW because we ran into some free tickets!) we didn't see anything we recognized flying in. Not to mention that it was cloudy and rainy.

A car picked us up at the airport and we were taken to Manhattan. As I began to take in the scenery I was amazed. I've spent a lot of time in some bigger cities. Knoxville, Nashville (TN), Indianapolis, Orlando. None compare. Whereas in Indy, there are 8 or 10 buildings that require a craned neck in order to see the top, every building seems to be like that here. It was breath taking. As we got further into Manhattan I began to notice more. As we drove down Park Avenue, the Met Life building (which used to be the Pan Am Building).

We made it to our hotel and checked in. However, we were early and our room wasn't ready, which thrilled me! I wanted nothing more than to have a good excuse to drag Nicole around every inch of New York we could walk around until we could check in. I must admit, I was a little out-of-sorts after we checked in. The Waldorf has some pretty strict rules about what kind of clothes are expected in the lobby and the types of people they want associated with their hotel - and for those of you who don't know me, I don't really function that well (remember how at Johnson I looked homeless).

Nicole gave me a pep talk and told me to snap out of it. New York has this way of making you feel insecure and small, like you don't deserve to be here because you're a tourist - and lets face it - although many of us love being tourists to new places, we never want to be labeled a tourist.

I snapped out of it and we walked around Manhattan for the better part of 3 hours. Up Park Avenue and under the Met Life Building; a quick stop in Grand Central Station; over to 5th Avenue; in and out of countless shops; snuck a peak at the NYC Library (man I could spend some quality time in there!); Chipolte (2 burritos, $20); a huge 3 hour circle and back to the Waldorf to get our room and luggage. Whew...our feet hurt and we hadn't even really started yet.

We came to the room and relaxed a bit. Watched some TV, did some research on when we needed to be where and planned our trip. After we relaxed and planned we headed out for dinner at Times Square. We thought we'd eat dinner and then catch a movie (ya, I know a movie sound boring to you, but we have a baby so we don't go anymore!). When we got to Times Square we picked out a place to eat: The Hard Rock Cafe. What a great choice. We saw guitars that belonged to Ace Frehley (KISS), Pete Townshend, Krist Novoselic (Nirvana), Tom Petty, Jack Bruce (Cream), and Slash; the drums of one of Dylan's drummers; a Jimi Hendrix suit. But the kicker was Beatles memorabilia. The four suits the wore for their final show at Candlestick Park (San Francisco, all of their album covers personally autographed, the original doors to Abbey Road Studios (the studio where they recorded most of their albums and the namesake of the Abbey Road album) Paul's famous bass (played at the Candlestick show) and one of George Harrison's acoustics.

All right, so that was cooler for me than Nicole.

Back to Times Square. Lights, billboards, Puffy 125 feet tall, Broadway theaters, Virgin Records, MTV Studios, CBS Studios, the ball from New Years...and on and on and on and on. There was so much to see. We didn't make it to the movie. We spent the rest of the night walking up and down Times Square, buying some trinkets and taking in New York.

There's a lot more to see. Hopefully I'll be blogging about each day, so for those of you that are terribly board, you can tune back in later for Day 2.

What's on the agenda for the week? NBC studios and Rockefeller Center tour, Statue of Liberty, Ground Zero tour, Empire State Building (at night!... hello Sleepless in Seattle!), Central Park, hopefully a few famous people (just kidding...but seriously), Chicago: The Musical, spa treatment (Nicole, not me...Nicole, not me...[embarrassed face]). Tune in for more.

2009-01-06T14:46:00.010-05:00

It's been a long while, far too long, but I'm back - and hopefully on a far more regular basis. The last time I reemerged to the blogging world I wrote a long post that was really a two-in-one and I'm questioning that method. We'll see what happens from here.

Music

For the last several months I've only been able to listen to one band, Ryan Adams and the Cardinals. I can't get past it or move beyond it, it is so profound and soothing to me. Perhaps I can't move on because it's so much flipping material, but I think it's more than that. Each lyric moves me in a different way and the music is high and lofty, in a spiritual sense (you gotta love steel guitar!). I started with Easy Tiger and Cold Roses, but have moved into a deep aquaintence with all nine of them. Great stuff, you should check it out.

Ella

She's growing like a weed. I can't believe that she's sixteen months old already. She walks, says Dad, cat and some other words and loves to eat (like any good American). She has developed a bit of a feisty personality and it now prone to temper tantrums and biting anything in sight. Nonetheless she is still a super-joy whom I love deeply and for whom I am so thankful.

Nicole

Nicole starts nursing school next week and has tuberculosis (read her blog for details ). She is also a huge joy! She's become a great mother and wife. She's still lovin' on Ella like crazy and taking the best care of her. She is very excited about nursing school and I am so excited that she is going to be able to chase her dream that she's been dreaming since before she went to Johnson.

Church

Some of you know the struggles that we've had over the past year and a half here at Nashville Christian - moving here only to have half of the staff leave within six months, wading through inactivity while we sat with no pastor, etc, etc. However, we are realizing that this is a special place. The people that are the church here in Nashville have great big hearts and open minds. We are conducting a Wednesday night study in January on the Bible and Poverty and trying to dream of ways we can find and assist Jesus in his work among the poor in Brown County (and surprisingly, there is a lot of poverty here). We have already become deeply involved in the jail system and with the local food pantry and we are hoping to do more. One idea on the table is to purchase some abandoned shoppes behind the church to be used to help prisoners reintegrate positively into the community and to provide some short-term housing solutions to those who have hit a rough patch. It all revolves around redistribution and relational tithe (for those of you who read Samuel Escobar, Joyce Holladay, Ronald J. Sider, Claiborne, Campolo and others). Things are shaping up that could really generate some good conversations in our community and Nicole and I are learning to love this little, middle-of-nowhere town in Indiana.

School

I'm still in school.

General thoughts

I will articulate the following thoughts in more detail in a later post (you're all saying "ya, right") but for now...

I was very challenged at the recent Youth Specialties conference to make sure that I'm investing in the right Kingdom. My perspectives on finances, possessions, the poor, wealth, retirement savings and many more things were challenged and Nicole and I are in the middle of figuring out how to "de-stuff" our lives. When the closet doesn't have enough hangers to hold all your clothes, you know there is a problem. It's been said that if you have two coats and your neighbor has none, you stole one from him. I have 10 coats. I'm wondering how much stuff I've stolen from my brothers and sisters. I want to give it back. I was challenged to take Jesus' words literally. I'm trying to do that (you know, literally, like he actually meant what he said, not literally like we need to literally cut out our eyes). I recently heard a man say that to have more than you need is to be rich. I'm wondering if I'm too rich, because I could get rid of a lot and still have more than I need. Samuel Escobar says that we need to see poverty in scripture as more than just a metaphor to our spiritual lives. I think he's on to something and I'm trying to figure how.

It's good to be back, I've missed you all. More short, succinct posts to come (if this was short and succinct)!

2008-12-10T10:29:00.003-05:00

So, it's Wednesday morning. On Wednesdays I have the luxury of going into work around noon since I'll be at the church from then until about 9 PM. Today Nicole needed to get some reading done so I was playing with Ella, who was a little fussy, and periodically she would break from me to go play under to barstools we have in our dining area. She always crawls under them and takes whatever toy she's playing with and sits there and laughs. Today was no exception. However, today I got a bright idea.

I ran to the garage, got a box, cut it up and taped it to the stools, strategically, as you can see in the picture above. I left a little gap at the top in front so she had a place to peek out and used the folded parts of the box to make doors that swing up, like on a Delorean. I sat her in it and she wasn't sure about it, until she turned around and saw the peek-hole. She liked it but in typical kid fashion didn't want to show it, so she crawled out and went off to do something else. Then she got tired and we put her down for the now two-day-old tradition of the morning nap.

It's quiet now. She's sleeping. The hum of the noisemaker she sleeps with is coming through the monitor and the fort sits here empty, alone. But I know that when she wakes up, probably sometime after I've gone off to work she'll taker her cup from her tea set, crawl over to her new killer dad-fort and climb in to play.

Being a Dad is fun. 'Cause lets be honest, sometimes I still wanna make myself a fort out of cardboard and play with my tea set, I mean machine gun.

2008-09-16T21:34:00.004-05:00

Greetings all!

So I thought I would build the anticipation for my next blog with a two month hiatus, which I know has you all on the edge of your seat. There are two things that have been on my mind of late and since I finally have the time, I think I'll share them with the world wide web, just for kicks.

Growing Up

I was just recently looking at all the pictures that anyone has ever posted of me on that lovely website we like to call Facebook. They took me back through many hair styles and nice outfits all the way back to the "good ol' days" at JBC. Life was more carefree back then. The "school" part of school was easy, there were fewer bills (as in, none) - I guess I could sum it all up by just saying less responsibility.

As I looked back, I laughed and remembered some good times - late night Starbucks trips, midnight walks through (the other) Nashville, dances, etc, etc. I also caught myself wishing to be there again, to return to the long-haired, no-matching-clothes, carefree days when I first encountered so many of the people that would mark my adult life (thus far).

Nicole and I have been through a lot of growing up. The dorms and being single were replaced with rental property and marriage. The absence of bills was replaced with way to many. Responsibility piled up and those "carefree, good ol' days" at JBC have come to seem like a distant memory, much more distant than they actually are. And with this there come a sense of nostalgia, a sense that the "good ol' days" are gone.

Let me just stop here to puke on the phrase "good ol' days". It implies that they are the best days of your life, the best times, and that if you could only get back to "those days" that life would be as it should be and all would be well.

Bologna!

Don't get me wrong - life at school and in K-town was awesome and I have met some of the people who will be my friends and extended family until we all gather on the other side of death, but they weren't the best days of my (our) lives. Isn't life all about growth? Isn't it about moving away and learning to live on your own?

As Nicole and I have discussed this phenomenon of moving from thinking of times in our past as "good ol' days" to just good days that taught us a lot and prepared us for the next set of good days...which will also be over someday and bring us into even more good days - we've realized that we're actually being changed in the midst of embracing the fact that we have to grow up and look forward more than we look back.

For instance, I never wanted to live in Nashville, IN and neither did Nicole. Nor did I want to be a youth minister, or her a youth minister's wife. And though it was with somewhat of a forced hand, we did our best to embrace that moment of growth, and as we discuss it more and more, we realize that this was the best thing that's happened to us yet. We're learning so much. And to think that we almost missed it because we were to busy looking back at how good the "good ol' days" were.

This is not to say that looking back positively is bad or that I didn't like Johnson or any of my past experiences...or that I do not miss getting to walk across the hall to see some of you. It is simply to say that inevitably things are going to change and holding on to the past only keeps us from embracing a great future.

It's hard, this growing thing. For us it has put us in places we never wanted to be and gave us things we didn't plan on having...yet. But I swear that I would not be who I am without it and I embrace it happening next time God sees fit to push us into growing up. May we never be caught thinking the best times were "back then". May we always be pushing farther up and farther in to the life God is calling us to. May we embrace every moment, every change, every opportunity to grow up as a God given chance to become more like Him - to know Him more.

Radical Living

Now, if I may, I'd like to completely change gears to the second of the two things that have been on my mind of late - Radical Living.

There is a lot of hype these days around the phrase "living radically" in terms of following Jesus, so let me request that you take whatever images or thoughts are exploding in your brain right now (be they good or bad) and dismiss them to play with there friends in some unconscious part of your brain that you can awaken later if you'd like. What I mean by "radical living" is the simplest, most basic form of that phrase that there could be. Simply put, I'd like my life to look completely different from the world around me. I'd like to take Jesus so seriously that I seem "radical" to people that don't understand. Not radical in an off-putting way, just radical in the sense that I really believe what I say I believe.

The problem is that I don't really know what that means. Look at my context. I live in a small, rural community that is mainly made up of businesses and people that make their living from tourism. I am a youth minister. Although I am commissioned to be a "minister of the Gospel of Jesus Christ" most of my days are completely controlled by task lists and depend largely on the use of an inanimate object. I rush around with such fervor that I often don't have time for a simple conversation that isn't planned. I read and pray and seek to "pray continually" however, after "quiet times" I often forget about or push to the side the one to whom I pray.

I seem to be missing it. However, I can't define what "it" actually is. What does it mean to live radically/differently (or whatever other descriptive word you'd like to use)? It often time seems like ministry gets in the way of ministry. I have been throwing this around in my brain and have come up with no clear answer. I have written it out and said it in my brain in forms of prayer. I read books. But nothing tells me in practical, understandable terms what it means to be "in the world, but not of it."

I want to be a radical with the kind of faith and boldness that Stephen showed in Acts 7. But most of the time I simply run around ragged trying to meet every demand and make sure all my i's and t's are dotted and crossed.

I've tried being rebellious and irreverent and emergent and conservative - I've tried attaching myself to all sorts of things to try and find a way to live that seems to match what Jesus called us to - and I've simply not found out how.

Dallas Willard is the only author outside of scripture that has helped me come even close to beginning to figure this out. The main premise of his book, "The Spirit of the Disciplines" is that people spend too much time trying to live like Jesus lived in the situations we read about in the New Testament - in the times he was put on the spot - instead of trying to have the relationship with God that Jesus did. He likens it to a kid who expects to react in his baseball games like a professional would without putting in the hours of practice and discipline it takes to actually become a professional. He calls it "the secret of the easy yoke". We need deeper relationships with God, so that living like Jesus because natural instead of forced.

Maybe the only way to a "radical" faith that is bold and looks something like what Jesus called me to is by taking the time to actually "abide" in him. The thing is its hard - but in a sense, it's a lot easier. We don't have to worry about learning to respond correctly. We have to worry about building a relationship that allows our responses to life's situations to be led by the Spirit that has so much say in our lives because we are abiding in God.

Maybe I'm way off...but that's where I'm at right now. What a long post to return with.

Jr High Challenge

2008-07-10T00:45:00.003-05:00

So it's been forever since I've posted. However, this week I'm at JHC and I've been posting everyday on the church website - here's the link

I'll try and get back to this one soon - don't give up on me.

Okay, my bones hurt, I'm going to bed.

The Long and Winding Road

2008-06-04T09:42:00.004-05:00

You've heard the metaphor of life as a journey. We're all on a path, a road of sorts, and each of our paths leads us to different places, allows us to meet different people and helps for shape our identity. Our journey is part of who we are, it is not our story but it is inherently part of our story.

My Long and Winding Road (to borrow the Beatles song title) began in Fairfield, IL where I spent time riding my lawn mower around town and playing on my uncle's farm. I worked for my Dad on occasion (rare occasion) and was harshly forced to mow the lawn, despite every effort to avoid it. In Fairfield (the same hometown as the great Dr. Gary Weedman), I played baseball and basketball, learned the great gentlemen's game of golf, made friends to whom I no longer speak and graduated high school.

Two years after high school I had attended college for a year at our local community college (Frontier) and a year at Oakland City University, when I discovered a place I felt I needed to be - Knoxville, TN. I didn't expect to move to Knoxville - I had never been there except for a random late night journey on spring break (that took us from Nashville, TN at 7:00 PM to Gatlinberg in search of air brused T-Shirts; then to every state we could hit through the night - back to Gatlinberg by 7:00 AM and on to Salem, IL by 7:30 PM, the day after the trip began - I drove the whole way).

Yet despite my lack of knowledge of Knoxville, and really my lack of knowledge of this interesting place called Johnson Bible College, I moved down to pursue the call to ministry that I had felt a few years earlier.

At Johnson I felt a little odd. I wasn't sure I liked the culture there and I became quite cynical. At one point I avoided going to church by getting up, showering, acting like I was leaving for church, and then sneaking down to a friend's room to sleep on the couch (I did so because my roommate was an RA). The call emblazoned on my heart before JBC had left and despite my best efforts, I secretly no longer wanted to be in ministry at a local church - but I did want to continue my education to the point at which I could earn a doctorate (which I still am pursuing).

Along the way I met the most fascinating, beautiful, awe-inspiring girl I'd ever met, courted her and then married her. At this point school was over for me, she was finishing her last year and I was looking for a job after completing a post-graduation internship at Park Chapel Christian Church in Greenfield, IN. I found one in the Admissions Office at JBC. Seven months after our marriage began and three months after my work at Johnson began, Nicole and I found out that we would be parents. And again the long and winding road I was on diverged into a place I didn't see coming.

Nicole graduated in May and in June I took a youth ministry position - a post I had never even considered in an area of our country I didn't know existed - Nashville, IN.

And now I've lived in Nashville, IN for a year this month. For the past few months we've considered leaving, thinking that our path was again diverging - and now we're staying for a while, until God calls us elsewhere into another ministry - which I'm sure I won't expect either.

So this is me in an effort to own my Long and Winding Road. I am not always happy with where it is heading (many times I'm thrilled) but it is mine, I've chosen (most of) it, wandered into the rest - and I don't regret it at all.

I'm boring you with all of this because as I recount my story I see God - moving and nudging me in directions I'd never have gone without him. And isn't that where we most often find God, in the common stories that are so often around us; the ones we think are to boring or mundane to tell. All though my story would not sell books; it is not full of tragedy or great drama; it is a story that God is telling - and I'm happy to be in the cast.

2008-04-19T08:53:00.002-05:00

There are times at which I pause, where I momentarily forget what I'm doing or why, and my thoughts wander aimlessly ending up in all sorts of places. During some of these times my thoughts drift to fond memories of sleep. I remember, however vaguely, what it was like to know that every Saturday morning would be one filled with as much sleep as possible. Nothing to wake me up, no responsibility, only the question: "Do I want to make it to brunch in the cafeteria today?"

There were different kinds of sleep. Lazy sleep - where the alarm clock was ignored and I fought the mental battle of class vs. dreams; Church sleep - where the joys of sharing fellowship with my fellow Christ-followers was delayed a week; Holy sleep - where I had run myself so ragged that the most spiritual thing to do was sleep (my personal favorite); and of course, Normal sleep - the kind that comes at the end of each day, regardless of what the day brought.

It my be apparent at this point that I like sleep, I've thought about it a lot, sometimes, even dreamed about it while doing it. And there was a point in my life where it was a commodity that was cheap and easy to attain.

Times change. Life, regardless of how it's lived, seems to have an uncanny way of bringing about responsibility and a lack of sleep, even when it is not sought after. For Nicole and me, this came in the form of a little girl, and now the days of rolling over and seeing the alarm clock read "10:30 AM" after a full night of sleep is non-existent. Our reality now is, "5:00 AM" time for Ella to eat.

For months I have deeply wished for her to sleep through until at least 7, when I'd be getting up anyway, and yet her internal clock (a.k.a. stomach) is undaunted in it's wake up time. That was my wish until a couple of days ago...

The 5 AM routine is that we hear Ella cry; I get up, walk to her room, pick her up, walk her back and lay her down on our bed so that Nicole can feed her. I then take advantage of her being preoccupied with food and change her diaper. Nicole feeds and burps her and I carry her back to her crib where she stretches, yawns and falls instantly back to sleep. The who process takes 15 to 30 minutes depending on the night.

Now, I've never been really bothered by this process - most of the times it's pretty cute if I'm honest, but there is this internal notion of wanting to get to sleep straight through. That is, until a couple of nights ago.

I realized that every time I pick Ella up to take her back to her crib she softly lays her head against my chest and stretches out her arms and clutches as much of my arms as she can with her tiny hands (it looks kind of like she's giving me the biggest hug she can muster). Each time this has happened for the last few days I've been intensely thankful that I no longer sleep straight through 5:00 AM...

In those moments, Jesus looks an awful lot like a 7 month old girl who's hugging her daddy in her sleep as she unknowingly glides through the air, out of our room, through the hall and into her crib; where I'm convinced that Jesus meets her in her dreams and rocks her gently to sleep.

May I never again sleep through the 5 o'clock hour if it means missing the chance to see Jesus in my daughter.

Feels Like Home

2008-04-15T11:09:00.003-05:00

It was, in most respects, a good week.

Nicole and I have a unique adoration of Knoxville, TN. We've often spoken of it as we drive to or from, or as we kick around old memories of how we met and came to know one another. It is the only place we have both lived that we share, and because of that there is this odd sense that it is home. So when Taylor asked a couple of months ago if I'd play the Dogwood Arts festival with him, we jumped on the chance to spend some time back home.

The week began with a trip to Kentucky where I led worship for a CrossRoads mission trip. The have a field in Maytown (Langley), KY and I took my youth group there in the middle of March. I returned to lead a week of worship because I fell in love with this little town tucked away in a valley of the Appalachian Mountains. It is a poor place. A small town of 287 where people are lucky to have running water or inside toilets. It is not a stretch to see an outhouse with nothing up a piece of tin laying on the ground below to carry the flow of human waste to the nearest water hole. I know it sounds weird, but don't make fun, please - sometimes it's the best they can do.

Many do have running water and all the amenities that we're so used to - but those that are poor are very poor, living paycheck to paycheck and working jobs that age your body well past the years it has spent in this life, such as the coal mines. They are, however, a gracious people, proud of what they have and thankful for the work that CrossRoads and the Maytown Center provide for the community - and it was great to be a part of that work twice.

Thursday, after the CrossRoads trip, we drove south and east down State Road 80 to catch I-75 on our way to Knoxville - and for the second time in three months, it felt like going home. Our moods change to jovial and free as we made our way from I-75 south to I-40 east, past West Hills and Cedar Bluff all the way out to Watt Road and on to Taylor's house. There are few things more fulfilling than a drive through the foothills of Appalachia in the Spring. It is the brightest, most beautiful color of green that God created.

To make matters even more enjoyable, we had traveled here to play music with Taylor Brown. His, as most of you know, is a wonderful blend of intriguing, detailed storytelling (in song) that allows me to play his music and believe in what I'm participating in - which is rare in today's musical culture.

The shows went wonderfully to spite a few blunders (the wind blew one of my guitars over on the first day and on the second Taylor broke two strings in a row, on two different guitars - causing us to alter the version of a song). I could've asked for nothing more - it was good, thanks for letting me play and us visit.

Someday, when the stars align in the right way and the moon is full and the winds blow from the four corners of the earth at the exactly the right speed - or something like that - perhaps we'll make it down there to stay for a while, maybe a lifetime. For now, Nicole and I will settle for the occasional trip to the place that feels like home. Where the backdrop of life is a picture God painted, where friends are many and microbrews are robust. Where I met my wife, found out I'd have a daughter. Where life, for me, changed dramatically - all for the best. Maybe someday I'll write a song for you Knoxville (of course, I'll play it for no one): But for now I'll suffice to blow you a kiss and wave goodbye and wait patiently for the next drive into the place that feels most like home.

Daylight Savings Time and a Runaway Car

2008-03-12T21:58:00.004-05:00

This past Sunday was the Sunday I preached on the salt and light passage in the Sermon on the Mount. I awoke early, like any good preacher does, to review my manuscript and make sure I was as prepared as possible to talk.

I got out of bed at 8:00 AM, reviewed for an hour and went to wake Nicole and Ella up - our first service had been cancelled due to 7-9 inches of snow so we didn't have to be at the church until about 10:00. Nicole got up and got in the shower while I got Ella dressed in a cute pink and brown dress with a pink mock turtleneck under it. When I was finished dressing her, I took her back to my bed and was playing with her and making her laugh while I waited for Nicole to get out of the shower so I could take one.

It was about 9:15 when my phone vibrated. The caller id said "Doug Keaton." Doug is one of our elders and since I usually do the same thing as him on Sunday mornings, I got a little worried. As I answered the phone I heard noisiness in the background, as though Doug was already at church. He said "Kenny, this is Doug, we're a little worried about you. Are you on your way?"

My initial thought, as I'm processing all of this was, "Seriously? You un-cancelled the first service and didn't tell the kid that's supposed to preach." As the thought went fully through my brain I realized what had happened, just as Doug said, "It's daylight savings time - we put our clocks forward last night."

I replied, "I'll be there in a minute."

I put Ella on the bed and surrounded her with pillows to insure her safety and then walked calmly into the bathroom where Nicole was showering and said, "Babe, we didn't set our clocks forward."

"What?" she screamed. "What are we going to do? What are YOU going to do?"

At this point I did the first thing that came to my mind: I stuck my head in the shower and said, "Will you wash my hair?"

She did and I got dressed and left the house. As I was leaving she said, "Hey, isn't there a bunch of snow on our cars?"

"No problem," I said.

I got outside and started Nicole's car and turned the defrost on high. I then got my scraper (I have a long pole with a scraper on one end and a brush on the other) and began shoveling snow off my windshield with the scrapper side. I got what I thought was a big enough space cleared, got in the car and began to roll out of the driveway. About the time I got the car in gear I realized that in no way had I cleared enough snow/ice off of the windshield to actually make it to church. So, I jumped out of the car to remove more snow and ice.

It was about the time that I was standing beside the car and watching it roll towards the ridge that is across our street that I realized I hadn't put the car in park. So I dove back in the car and slammed it into park. The car had picked up enough momentum to slide across the street on the ice.

I then cleared enough snow to see out of the car and made my way to church. I laughed the entire way to church. I couldn't wait to tell the story to everyone. I made it by 9:32 (which was actually 10:32). So I was there for everything.

What I didn't know was that while I was arriving at church and letting all the right people know I was there, Nicole was getting ready to drive away. The defrost had been on for about 8-10 minutes and the windshield had started to thaw. She hopped in the car and flipped on the wipers. They made that grinding noise they make when there's too much snow for them to move. So she hopped out of the car to clean off the windshield with the only thing she had - a water bottle. As soon as she got out of the car, the wipers worked and she (along with the inside of the car) was covered in 8 inches of snow.

She yelled, "Of course!" sat down in the car and shut the door. Covered in snow, she decided to wipe the snow off of her. She got out of the car, dusted herself off and then the wipers went again - more snow, more frustration.

Nicole made it to church for the last song of the song service and joined me near the front. As I walked up the pulpit I was already laughing. I said, "Well, do you guys like stories? Cause I've got a killer."

I told the story and everyone was laughing. The sermon was well received, but a few were offended by my take on salt and light. My outlook was that Jesus offended them, not me.

I wouldn't trade that story for the world.

Ironically, one of the items on the agenda for the elder's meeting the following night was timeliness.

I guess I need to work on getting out of bed earlier.

Salt & Light

2008-03-05T11:12:00.002-05:00

To those of you who still read this, I'm requesting help. On Sunday I'll be continuing the series we're doing right now on the Sermon on the Mount. I'm keying off of a couple of Craig Blomberg quotes:

"'To be thrown out and trampled by men'...refers to the world's response to Christians if they do not function as they should. Believer's who fail to arrest corruption become worthless as agents of change and redemption. Christianity may make its peace with the world and avoid persecution, but it is thereby rendered impotent to fulfill its divinely ordained role. It will thus ultimately be rejected even by those with whom it has sought compromise."

And...

"Both metaphors of salt and light raise important questions about Christian involvement in society regarding all forms of separatism or withdrawal. We are not called to control secular power structures; neither are we promised that we can Christianize the legislation and values of the world. But we must remain active preservative agents, indeed irritant, in calling the world to heed God's standards. We dare not form isolated Christian enclaves to which the world pays no attention."

I'm wondering if any of you have good, true stories about people being salt and light. Rick and I, as we talk through the Sermon on the Mount, are trying to use more stories than line-by-line explanation - so I'm hoping to start the talk with 3 or 4 stories that illustrate what it means to be salt and light in the world.

Thanks.

Favorites

2008-03-02T21:03:00.002-05:00

Greetings!

I was walking around the Greenwood Park Mall on Saturday looking for Nicole and carrying my newly purchased Beatles posters (Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band, Let It Be and Abbey Road - all for my office wall) when I began thinking about my favorite artists and movies (these thoughts were spawned by the Hollywood store in which I bought the posters). Therefore, I present to you my top 5 bands/artists and my top 5 movies:

Bands/Musicians

1. The Beatles

No one can match their musical influence. Everything you or I listen to exists, in some way, because they existed. They are the best band ever (no matter what you Stones fans say). Their blend of melodies, harmonies, lyrical depth, musicianship and cultural commentary make them relevant even today. Songs to check out: I Want You (She's So Heavy) on Abbey Road and Happiness is a Warm Gun on the White Album.

2. Bob Dylan

The call between second and third was a tough one. Nonetheless, I went with Dylan; you can't go wrong with Dylan. Few artists have enjoyed as much success and critical acclaim for such a long period as Bob has (yes, we're on a first name basis). His lyrical talent is unrivaled by anyone. Look at the top of any lyricist list and he'll be there at number one. Not only are his lyrics amazing but his "I don't care" attitude is totally rock n' roll.

3. Eric Clapton

Few people, if anyone, has been more influential on more guitar players than Clapton. Directly or indirectly he has had a hand in almost every young guitar player's desire to pick up a Strat and wail. He single handedly made lead guitar players household names. He rarely misses a note, plays the best solos (even better than Hendrix) and has a keen sense of music. He's simply amazing.

4. Bright Eyes/Conor Oberst

The first non-classic artist is Conor Oberst, who is the lyricist and mastermind behind Bright Eyes. Having been coined as the Bob Dylan of our generation, his lyrical ability is well recognized and continues develop and he also observes and comments on society and culture in his songs, which I love. His blend of folk, rock and country make a beautiful, pertinent backing for his lyrics.

5. Pearl Jam

This one is in my top five not only because of their great music but because of nostalgia: They were my favorite band in high school and when I hear many of their songs it takes me back to yesteryear. Their songs blend lyrical depth and melodic genius to form some great rock music. They have been together for nearly two decades (rare for bands formed in the 90's) and they have maintained one of the most loyal fan bases in music, without the use of advertisement or music videos. As Tony the Tiger would say, they're greeeeeeeeaaaat!

So...this took longer than I thought it would, so I'll do movies in a few days. Peace out!!

2008-02-25T22:13:00.002-05:00

My name is Kenny Gooch. It has been nearly three months since my last confessions - I mean post.

As much as I dislike picking up the house, these days I always seem to smile while doing so. There is always some little toy or a passy waiting under that blanket or this pair of underwear. It's incredible to be doing something so mundane, frustrating and annoying and then finding something that makes your whole being more aware of how great a life we have.

Ella has come a long way since the last time I tossed words into cyberspace. She rolls over fluidly now. Lay her down on her back, blink and she's on her stomach looking up at you with that ear-to-ear, dimply grin that melts your heart. In the last couple of weeks she's begun to reach for things that are close by. Everything she gets her hands on goes strait to her mouth, even if it's your face or the cat that she's grabbed. Just today she grabbed the back of Lily's neck and pulled it into her mouth. Lily was not as impressed as Nicole and me. Miss Ella is 5 and 1/2 months and she's wearing 9 month clothes; she's taller than 90% of infants her age. And, she continues to be this bright, shining light for us.

Other things that have happened since I last wrote...

I began recording and engineering music for the CD project that our church is heading up. It's a group effort that was dreamed up by Rick (our Worship/Interim Minister). Songs will be contributed by local musicians and the album art will be done by local artists. A few people from NCC will be working to get media attention for the project (some folks have connections through their jobs). It's going to be awesome and it's a blast recording. I've been fooling around with Pro Tools and we've got some pretty cool stuff so far. The CD will be released in August or September and the release party will be a community wide concert featuring the artists from the CD. All the proceeds from the CD will go to fight poverty in Brown County. Organizations like Mother's Cupboard (a food pantry for folk who are down on their luck) and others will benefit.

I've fallen in love with The Beatles all over again, actually, even deeper this time than last. My first post was about my discovery of them and now I can consider myself a full fledged Beatle maniac (I realize I'm several decades late, but better late than never). There music never gets old and, in fact, only gets better with time, just like good wine. I'm listening to Abbey Road right now. All of you who have interest in the Beatles (which should be all of you) should go out and get a copy of "Let It Be...Naked." This is a newly released version of the classic album "Let It Be." The story is that the Beatles producer added all of the big, booming choir and symphony parts, along with many different effects (guitars and vocals) to the original without their knowing it. It was then released without them knowing and the Beatles were pissed. Now that the rights to the album are in the right state, the album has been released as the John, Paul, George and Ringo intended - stripped, bare...naked. It is incredible. I've been buying up their stuff on vinyl also. Which leads me to my next new obsession.

I'm in love with records. Yup, that's right...good ol' vinyl records. I have a plan to never buy cd's again. At least not on a regular basis. They now make record players that will burn your records to your computer so that you have them in digital form. I've also found a record company (Saddle Creek) that releases their artists (some of my favorites, like Bright Eyes) on vinyl and then includes a code to download a free mp3 version of the record - ahhh, heaven. The smell, the feel, sound of vinyl is unbeatable. That old crackly goodness is undeniable. I'm starting to build my collection, and planning on stealing my Dad's sometime soon.

And as always...

Nicole is an ever-present beauty. She's juggling classes, motherhood and the everyday stuff of life like a pro. For those of you who don't know, I love her. Although the Beatles wrote the best songs in history (them and Dylan), Nicole is my favorite song, the only perfect one I've ever experienced. She wakes me joyfully in the morning and eases me to sleep at night. Life would not be what it is without her.

I love you, babe.

Across the Hall

2007-12-01T02:25:00.000-05:00

Tonight was a good night.

We drove back from Greenfield and hung around the house for a while before we went to host a 5th quarter at the church after the boys basketball game. As Nicole did her Bible study I thought it'd be a good idea to try and get my daughter hooked on Bob Dylan at a young age, so I got the guitar out and started playing her songs. Much to my surprise and delight, she loved it. She laughed and started cooing loudly when I'd play and sing. Few things have melted my heart as much as her enjoying me playing music for her.

When we got back from the 5th quarter we got her ready for bed and made the decision that Ella should sleep in her crib. You may be wondering where she has been sleeping up to this point, and rightfully so. Up to this point she's slept next to our bed in a bassenet that was a gift from one of our elders. This has made it easy for Nicole and I when she needs fed or changed (all right, in all honesty its made it easier for Nicole - I usually just sleep). When Ella would need to eat Nicole could simply roll over, pull her out of the bassenet and feed her. Unfortunaetly, for the last few weeks when we've gotten up, Ella had pushed herself all the way against the top left corner of the bassenet and her face was planted firmly in the side wall - which is quite scarry for first-time, overprotective parents. The fact of the matter is that she's outgrown the bassenet. It's made for them to sleep in until their 15 lbs. She's not there yet, but she's taller than the average 11 week old, and so its time for her to make the move to the room across the hall.

Which brings us to the moment where we laid her in the crib and gazed at her for a long while, taking it all in as she slept peacfully in her crib, her new bed, across the hall and away from Mom and Dad. In that moment, she quickly became 4 and then 9 and then 13 and then 17 and then she wanted nothing to do with us. We lived a tiny sliver of the moments that parents have shared with us. She's growing, to fast I'll add, she's in 6 month clothes when she's less than 3 months old. And in that moment above our daughter's crib I lamented to Nicole about the days to come when she's won't think I'm cool, or want me to spend time playing her Dylan songs on the guitar.

Then Nicole said, "But she'll love you," and I snapped back to reality. Because the reality is that tonight it made her happy that I played guitar for her.

When we found out that Nicole was pregnant, we didn't know we could love her so much! She is a beautiful gift and if you've not met her, I can't wait to introduce you.

24, 65 & 61

2007-11-29T23:44:00.000-05:00

What do these three numbers have in common, you may be asking. Well...I'll tell you.

The number 24 represents Bob Dylan's age in 1965, which was the year he released "Highway 61 Revisited." Now, you may be wondering why in the world anyone would care - fair enough. Highway 61 contained classic Dylan tracks like Tombstone Blues, Highway 61 Revisited, Desolation Row and Like a Rolling Stone (which many consider to be the greatest song ever written). Many consider this to be the best album of his career, a classic Dylan masterpiece, and many others consider it one of the best rock albums of all time. It's lyrical content paired with the raw, bluesy, heartfelt music that defines the greatest Dylan albums combines to make a legendary album the likes of which is very hard to find and comes along only a few times a century.

The most amazing part, however, and the inspiration behind this post, is that when Dylan released his masterpiece...he was 24. He was my age. He pinned the lyrics to one of the greatest songs (and albums) ever when he was my age. Sure, Robert Zimmerman (Dylan's brith name) had probably seen more and experienced more and was coming-of-age in the beginnings of the cultural revolution of the 60's and the Vietnam war only added fuel to the fire - but still the kid was freakin' 24. Only 2 and 1/2 decades of life. It has amazed me all day.

Rob Bell, Elvis and Over the Rhine

2007-11-21T12:35:00.001-05:00

I sit in my office having just read a few great articles in Risen Magazine and listening to the glorious sounds of Over the Rhine's album "Changes Come". The first article was a five question interview with Rob Bell about his upcoming speaking tour called "The gods Aren't Angry". The first question posed by the interviewer, Nick Purdy, is: "What's a pastor doing playing rock clubs?" His answer is one of the best statements I've read in a long time -

"All space is sacred, all ground is holy, the earth is God's and everything in it, isn't that what the poets say? EVERY MOMENT IS LOADED WITH DIVINE POTENTIAL. People write songs about their deepest fear and loves and questions and dreams and pain and then they share them with others from a stage in a club - that's a powerful, sacred thing. A lot of us have found God and truth and beauty in clubs as much or more than in churches" (capitolization mine).

Here, Rob has put words around feelings that I share but am less gifted at articulating. During his last speaking tour he talked about how everything is spiritual because God is always with us and can be found anywhere we are willing to see Him. This truth, everytime I hear it, energizes me because it makes every moment I live a possible encounter with the creative, holy, passionate, beautiful, beyond-words God that has, since the beginning of time, tried to write a story that ends with us finding our way back to Him. Everything becomes important - not in a way that makes every moment a chance to fail Him but in a way that makes every moment a chance to encounter Him, a chance to see Him and to involve ourselves in the work that He is already carrying out. For to long we have been captivated by the mentality that we need to create something in which God can work - we need to seek and find where God is alreay at work and involve ourselves in that place.

This is a thought that is captivating the church Nicole and I now call home. People are "buying into" the idea that God works in places that are outside of the church and that, rather than creating more programs and events that try and draw people in, we should look for ways to involve ourselves in our community in order to "be the church" in ways that those outside the church are not used to seeing. Those not associated with the church often view Chrisitans as reclusive isolationists who are waging a war against them, and unfortunately this is the main way we've chosen to work for the better part of 2000 years. However, scripture reminds us that our battle is not agains flesh and blood (people) but against other-worldly forces that are waging battle against us. C.S. Lewis, in the Screwtape Letters, suggests that Satan and his devils are most effective when they simply keep us focused on the wrong things. Perhaps that is what has happened.

So lets paint a new picture, one of a church that is not afraid to rub elbows with people who are not like us or who disagree with us but who still believe that there's some things in the world that need to be done - like teaching kids to read, putting food on people's tables and clothes on people's backs...helping women who are in crisis pregnancy situations...accepting those who are homosexual as creations of God, who loves them...helping single mothers instead of making them outcasts...

And the list could go on and on and on.

The second article I read is called "The Shadow of Graceland". It talks of Elvis' home and how the writer of the article, Steve Beard (editor-in-chief of Risen), walked through it and in front of him was Pete Wentz of Fall Out Boy, who had come to check out the house of the King or Rock before a show that night. The irony pointed out by Beard was that Elvis was a seeker of the true meaning of life - he was interested in questions of God and where we went after this life and Beard illustrates this truth by quoting a conversation Elvis had with his barber. However, Elvis got caught up in his own darkness and depression and struggled to find hope. Similarly, Pete Wentz had earlier done an interview with Risen in which he spoke of the same kind of searching - "I don't know where I am with belief, but I want that and it's really important for me to have that in my life." Wentz has also struggled with addicition because of his boughts with his own darkness. And so the story of two musicians converge at Graceland, two people looking for hope and asking some tough questions...

And now the convergance of the two articles in my mind...

When we realize that every moment is packed with divine potential and that our calling may, in fact, be to involve ourselves in the work that God is already doing in our communities, we bring with us a message of hope that the world is looking for. I would never intentionall discard the message of grace that is the gospel - but maybe we spend a too much time on grace and not enough time on hope. Regardless of whether or not people believe that they need grace, everyone wants hope, everyone's looking for hope.

Can we show the world hope?

Ella Update

2007-10-29T07:18:00.000-05:00

Today Ella is 7 weeks old. Already the time is going by too quickly. She's outgrowing clothes and talking. NO...not words, baby sounds. We smile at her and ask her how she's doing and she responds with a squeek and a giggle. We're at the point, the books tell us, where smiling is not just a reaction but something that she controls. She's actually smiling at us now! It's so much fun! She mimics our smile and if we make a noise like she makes (squeeks, etc) and pause to give her time, she responds to us with a similar noise. She's also laughing in her sleep now. All the sudden her body will be bouncing up and down and we'll look at her face and she's got a huge smile.

Nicole and I both lament the fact that she's 7 weeks and already in 3-6 month old clothes. There's so many cute newborn things we got that she didnt even get to wear because she's to big already. And last week she went from newborn diaers to ones (N to 1). Sad, sad.

It really is incredible that Nicole and I get anything done, what with all the staring at her, making faces and laughing when she poops and then smiles. Yup, that's right - she gets all squinty in the face and then she starts to turn red and you know its coming; she soon lets a mighty dump roar and her face relaxes for a second and then she laughs - she must have gotten that from her mother.

Perhaps the greatest thing thus far has been the fact that on October 17th she started sleeping anywhere from 7 to 9 hours at night. Now, we're not usually asleep for all of them, but we get at least 5 -7 hours of uninterrupted sleep a night, which is incredible. We joke that it's like sleeping in until noon.

This parenthood thing is quite the ride, we wouldn't dare trade it in. We cannot imagine life without Ella, she's the most beautiful little thing that either one of us have seen and we cherish our life with her - but we do wish that she'd not grow so fast.

Last night she hadn't slept all day and wouldn't go to sleep so I picked her up and laid her on my chest while Nicole and I watched TV. She stopped crying immediately and took her passy and fell fast asleep on my chest. She lay like this for the better part of two hours. She's always falling asleep in one of our arms and we love it - it's like a pause in the space-time continuum where everything is right and good. She's a very peaceful little girl when she sleeps and Nicole and I take every moment we can to hold her.

So back all you who say to hold her less, we're ignoring your bad advice. Yes, we know there will come a day when we must let her cry herself to sleep if we ever want to get any, but that time is not now - in fact, research show that it is impossible to spoil a baby or hold her too much in the first 6 months - so we're taking every minute we can to soak in those first few months of life...

because we honestly don't think we've ever been a part of anything this incredible.

Bob Dylan, Elvis Costello & Amos Lee

2007-10-18T07:18:00.000-05:00

I'd like to take a moment to share with you an experience, like none other, that I had this past evening. It took place at Freedom Hall in Louisville, KY. A couple of months ago I heard that Bob Dylan was going to be performing in Bloomington, just down the road from where I live. I promptly e-mailed father Gooch and asked if he'd like to go. I hadn't heard back from him in a while when all the sudden I got an e-mail that said he had gotten tickets to the Louisville show. I wondered why, at first, he had choosen the Louisville show instead, however, when I read the e-mail completely I realized that he had, some how, found two front row tickets.

Therefore, last night I left Nashville at 4:00 pm for one of the most fulfilling concert experiences of a lifetime. We were about two and a half feet from the front of the stage right in the center. We were so close that when Dylan came out (who's mic was setting further back on the stage) we had to stand up to see him over the front of the stage. The opening of the three acts was an up and coming singer/songwriter who defies, much like Dylan, being put into one musical catagory or genre, Amos Lee. His songs spanned from straight folk tunes to more "pop" sounding material to blues to reggae. He was backed by a four piece band including keyboard, drums, bass and guitar (the guitar player played mandolin on one song). The standout track of the night for him was Freedom, in my opinion. Its a song that sort of questions the state of our country and its decisions.

Next, was Mr. Elvis Costello. As the crew did the set change I realized that there were no other instruments being set up, just his rack of (mostly) acoustic guitars. He came out kind of like a bolt of acoustic/electric lightening. I had no idea he was such a good performer! He got the crowd involved and kept us laughing and entertained, not just with his music, but also with his random comments and stories. He opened with "The Angels Wanna Where My Red Shoes" (amazing) which he played on an acoustic guitar with two input jacks. The cable from the first jack went straight into the house and carried the acoustic tone while the second cable went into a pedal board and then into an amplifier. Using a volume pedal he was able to bring electric sound in and out as he played so it sounded like there were two guitars - an acoustic and a distorted electric. It was very interesting. He played a wonderful, high energy set and closed with his standout track of the night, a song about a war widow who questions her governments actions.

The peak of the night was when Bob Dylan walked slowly onto the stage with his five piece band(two guitars, bass, drums and a guy that played everything from electric ukelele to pedal steel, to banjo to fiddle). The band was all dressed in black suits that had silver sparkles in them (sound funny, I know, but it looked cool). He was wearing a plain black suit with white stripe down the side, cowboy boots and a huge rimmed hat that made him look like a Mexican from an old western. He opened the show playing a Strat through a Blues DeVille amp with the song "Leapord-Skin Pill Box Hat" (one of my favorites) and went right into "Don't Think Twice, It's All Right." It was amazing. Very few times in life do you get to be so close to an artist who has been so influential for so many years. In the 60's he was the mouth piece of a movement, in the 70's he found Jesus, in the 80's he was written off as a has been and since the early 90's has been more sucessfully and acclaimed (including an oscar and numerous other awards) than in his hay-day of the early 60's. At 66 years of age, he played for an hour and fourty minutes. No talking, no nothing, except for amazing music. He played the first four songs or so on electric guitar and then played the rest of the set, including the encore on the keyboard - creating electric piano, piano and organ effects that have come to define some of his greatest songs. The standout tune of the night was by far the closer - "Like a Rolling Stone." Everyone had ruled it out because he hasn't been playing it that much, but after he finised the first encore song one of the guitar players played the opening riff and we went crazy. Dylan, as he always does, played with the melody of the song so much that it was almost impossible to sing with, but we belted it out with him as loud as we could - "Once upon a time you dressed so fine, threw the bums a dime in your prime, didn't you? People call say beward doll you're bound to fall you thought they were all just, kidding you." And so the night ended with what Rolling Stone (and many other) periodicals have long called the greatest song ever written.

It was a once in a life time experience. It had been 33 years, 8 months and 3 days since my Dad had seen Dylan - thanks for sharing with me pops!

I'll take midwives, not doctors

2007-10-05T19:20:00.000-05:00

Let me tell you a story.

At the 20th week of Nicole's pregnancy she began experiencing what felt like severe heartburn. We called the emergency line of here OB's office in Knoxville and they told her to take tums. This, of course, did not help because of the severity of what felt like heartburn.

Now let me tell you about this heartburn. It left Nicole doubled over in pain on the ground and often involved puking - for hours. It often started around bedtime (11 or 12 o'clock) and lasted until anywhere from 3 to 5 am. In other words, it was the most intense heart burn we'd ever seen.

Now...back to the story. It happened again and we called the emergency line at the OB's again and the on call doctor said "You're pregnant. You're going to have heartburn. Take a Pepcid." Felling dumb for having to call again (and due to the doctor's condecending response) we stopped callilng for a while and she took pepcid. It rarely, if ever, helped.

At the next doctor's appointment we got prescription heart burn medicine and that seemed to help for a while, but then this "heartburn" came back...

To make a long story short, it never stopped. Now fast forward to our move to Nashville, IN. It happens again, worse than ever, and we called the emergency line of the new Ob's office. This time we get a midwife on the phone and she says, "Go to the emergency room - it sounds like gull bladder."

We did. The treated her for heartburn and sent us home.

Thurday morning, October 4, we went to the ER - they treated her for heartburn. We went back again last night and they admitted her and ran some tests. She has gull stones and has had one procedure already and will have her gull bladder removed tomorrow.

Heartburn my butt.

I quit doctor's!!

Bring on the midwives.

Morning Drive

2007-09-25T08:18:00.000-05:00

This morning began with a 4.4 mile drive to work through the hills and trees of Nashville, In. it looks a lot like east Tennessee in the fall and Return Oh Traveler, Dear Son came on the CD player. It turned out to be the perfect song for the moment.

Thanks, Taylor.

Finishing Elvis

2007-09-24T11:06:00.000-05:00

I've been on the final chapter of Velvet Elvis since before I left Knoxville to come to Nashville (IN). It's been like a monkey on my back, moking me each time I see the book still sitting in my back pack. Nonetheless, today I finished and one paragraph gave me a little bit of hope.

On page 169, Bell says "Very few people in our world are offering anything worth dying for. Most of the messages we recieve are about how to make life easier. The call of Jesus goes the other direction: It's about making our lives more difficult. It's about going out of our way to become more generous and disciplined and loving and free. It is about refusing to BECOME NUMB and CHECK OUT of this broken, fractured world."

This impacted me because, a couple of days ago I was talking with a friend about ministry and the church and I came away from the conversation a bit depressed; primarily about being in ministry.

Most of you who read this will probably understand what I mean when I say that walking into a multi-million dollar church building and seeing a sign up table featuring all the church programs (ministries) they have to offer makes me feel a bit out of place. Programs are not bad. Buildings are not bad. But something smells funny about millions of dollars going inward instead of outward. Make sense? I'll give an illustration to clarify:

A church exists in a prime downtown location. The local shops benifit from it presense because tourists use its parking lot (no manditory charge) to park closer to their shops. The church is two blocks from the middle and high schools - i.e., walking distance from the youth room where many come to hang out anytime the doors are open (youth group kids and non-youth group kids).

Despite all the positive things about this situtaion, the church longs to build a building a mile out of town to better serve its people. This to me is the part that doesn't make sense. Ya, so the facilities are not quite like American Christians are used to or prefer. BUT, the present location lends itself to all sorts of community involvement that will all but disappear, or be made much more difficult, if you go build a huge multi-milliion dollar building.

Perhaps a better approach would be to stay put and continue to engage the community in ways that benifit the community. If you need more space - buy a building that is vacant in the current area and use it for some church stuff and also make it a family place to be used by the community.

Some call this approach "emergent" - and whether or not it is, I don't know. But to me it seems like a better option.

Now! Why am I ranting about this? Because I have a friend who, despite loving what many call the "emergent" approach to church, etc - she's resigned herself to simply jumping on the band wagon.

And this is why I resonate with Bell when he says that we should not and cannot become numb and check out. I need to fight to hang on to what I think is a better approach. This has application in all parts of the ministry here in Nashville. Like the hope someday the youth will believe that faith in Christ is not about whether or not you drink, smoke, chew or cuss but that it is about loving your neighbor, caring for the homeless, taking Jesus seriously, etc.

I hope that I always strive to do the more right thing that is hard, instead of giving way to the right thing that is easy.

P.S. Ella now weighs 8 lbs 5 oz and is 21 1/4" long. And she's still beautiful. And Nicole and I still aren't sleeping.

My guess is that this may not make that much sense, but someday I'll explain in a conversation that I have with you.

A Newborn Story

2007-09-14T23:32:00.001-05:00

You must know this story.

I lay Ella down to changer her poopy diaper. I get the diaper off, start wiping her down and she begins to pee. She's lying on our big chair in the living room on a vinal diaper changing pad, so the pee does not absorb into the pad, it runs all the way up to her head and begins to quickly run to the sides. Nicole and I curl up the edges to keep it from the chair and Nicole grabs her up as I fold the pee up in the pad and dump it in the sink.

Now...

The reason I was changing her was so that she could be fed. So we wrap her in a blanket and feed her to calm her down so that we can give her a bath. As she's wrapped in a blanket being fed, she lets a juicy poop fly. It soaks through the blanket and begins to run out of it.

So Nicole is holding beautiful Ella covered in pee and poop while feeding her and Sally, me and Sarah are all laughing our heads off.

It was a great night full of Nerts and baby poop.

Meet Ella Grace

2007-09-10T23:46:00.000-05:00

About 4:00 PM on Sunday afternoon, Nicole began having what she thought were irregular contractions. We walked on the track at Brown County High School and played cards Sunday night. About 2:30 AM on Monday morning the contractions became regular and were about 5 minutes apart. She said that I should get some sleep for a couple of hours because soon she wasn't going to be able to handle it without me distracting her. I slept for a few hours and then Nicole came to bed to try and sleep a bit. We didn't sleep much, she may have gotten about 30 minutes and I got about 3 hours all together.

At 7:00 AM Monday we were up for good and we called the Doctor's office at 8:30 AM on Monday and they told us to come to the office. We arrived at the Dr's office at about 9:15 AM and he told us to go to the hospital and by 10:00 we were there getting checked in.

The contractions were getting worse and the Dr. came in to break her water. After he did that, it was very very bad for a while. She got very bad, quick contractions and she wasn't sure if she was gonna make it. However, the epi was soon on its way and she felt quite a bit better.

Around 6:00 PM she was 5 cm, by 7:00 PM, Monday, she was 10 and ready to deliver. She pushed from 7:20 PM to 7:42 PM, when Ella Grace Gooch came into the world. 7lbs 15 ounces, 20.5 inches long.

She is beautiful. A semi-full head of dark hair with the slightest hint of a curl at the end. Dark eyes (which will change for the next 6 months to a year). And very light eyebrows, which may indicate that she's eventually going to be very blonde.

Meeting her was incredible - I don't even think it has really sunk in yet: I have a daughter, Ella Grace. Wow.

It's 1:00 AM on Tuesday now and Nicole is getting ready to feed her for the second time. We love her very much. Thanks for all your thoughts and prayers. You are all very important to us and we can't wait for you to meet Ella - we think you'll like her a lot.

Oh...did I mention that she's beautiful?

Love.

Harry Potter and other goings on

2007-08-01T12:40:00.000-05:00

Greetings friends!

I just wanted to shoot out a howdie and an update, since I'm barely on here anymore. Nicole and I are settling somewhat slowly. Making the transition from a large town where you have many friends to a small one where you know no one is quite challenging. We got hooked up with a small group of twenty-somethings from First Christian in Columbus, IN (about 25 minutes away) and they all have or are having kids. There are three other pregnant couples in the group! This is easing the anxiety a bit for the two of us. As amazing as it may seem, there are no other people our age in Nashville. OH, and when I say none - literally none. All the college students go away to college and there are no other married twenty-somethings. Its weird.

Nicole's been getting pretty sick lately and is lined up to see a GI specialist that our OB/GYN recommended. The baby's doing good and thriving, we're just trying to take care of mom so that she'll be comfortable for the last month and a half.

I'm loving the job; its wonderful. The people are amazing and have accepted me as one of the gang. I'm currently redoing the youth building (a building about a block away from the church). Each year they redecorate and re-theme. So we're painting and decorating. Our theme this year is Wake UP, from Romans 13. We're gonna have a sunrise painted on the wall and alarm clocks every where. And some tables and low key lights - I guess kind of like a coffee house feel.

Most of you that read this I don't get to see very often. I miss you all very much, and so does Nicole. The one downfall of the move has been the distance it put us from most of our friends. You are truely dear to us.

Nonetheless, we're doing well and eagerly anticipating the birth of our daughter. And, last but most certainly not least, I'm trying my hardest to make it throught the seventh and final Harry Potter book. It hangs luminously over my head as I struggle to make it through the book because of my current business. However, so far it has been the most exciting, edge-of-your-seat, in depth, awesome read of all the books. Fantastic.

We love you all, and hope to see you soon!

P.S. I'll write about something more interesting next time! Oh, and I couldn't get spell check to work, so lay off my bad spelling!

Sining to the Baby

2007-07-14T21:07:00.000-05:00

Something just happened.

Unexpected, yet delightful.

Incredible really.

Nicole was on the couch and I was putting together a very small, space saving desk for our office/guest bedroom in the new house. I finished the desk, rolled it into the room where it will sit in the cornor next to the window and came back to sit with Nicole on the couch. As she sat up to help with her back pain I leaned over and began to sing to the baby. For some reason the only song that came to mind was "You Are So Beautiful" as performed by Joe Cocker - and the only line I know is, "You are so beautiful to me."

Incredibly, she pushed at my face.

I continued to sing, and she pushed (or kicked or streached or something) toward me. It was amazing. I sang more and she pushed more. We connected. My unborn baby alreay knows my voice and likes it when I sing (or wants me to shut up) either way it was one of the best feelings ever. All that separated us was a thin layer of tissue, and soon it won't even be that. Nicole's in her 8th month now.

September here we come!

Plugged In?

2007-07-12T12:00:00.000-05:00

One of the great things about the ministry here at Nashville is all the magazines to which they subscribe. We get Relevant, Risen (similar to Relevant in style and focusing completely on pop-culture), and a slew of other youth ministry related magazines. Some are not so good and consistently make me go "huh?, you seriously put that in print?" However, one specific magazine is 100% annoying ALL of the time: Plugged In, a publication of Focus on the Family.

Each month Plugged In's cover features a popular musical artist or celebrity to destroy. The only one I kept in my office is setting to my right and features the band My Chemical Romance. The caption on the front reads, "Rock's hottest act wrestles with the Grim Reaper." I kept it in my office because I like MCR. The article inside rips the band apart as though they themselves are on a mission to destroy all teenagers and take them straight to hell. Plugged In also harps on the lead singer for being disgruntled with the church and the band itself for being "obsessed with death."

Why is it that instead of engaging culture and people we simply want to point out all that they are doing that is not what we think should be done. The very reasons that Plugged In criticizes My Chemical Romance are some of the reasons I like them. They're asking good questions. Sure they're scared of, cynical about and probably pissed of at the church - but is that a reason to treat them like the devil. Their music deals with questions like "Is this life worth living?" and "What happens when I die?" These are questions everyone is asking, and should be, so why can't we just engage the conversation that is already taking place instead of standing at a distance and tearing it apart.

I think Plugged In's approach is wrong and sometimes, dare I say, as sinful as the bands they're reviewing. Sure, it is good to warn parents and youth sponsors of the dangers of certain lyrics and movies. However, I think we can say "you should take be alert to the messages of this album or that actor" without saying "this album or that actor is on a mission to destroy our kids and our world; they're probably spawns of Satan."

I guess what I'm trying to say but saying very poorly, is that I think when we approach culture like Plugged In does, we miss the point - badly.

OH...one more thing. The article about how we shouldn't listen to My Chemical Romance made me turn on "The Black Parade" as I was driving to lunch - and then "Hang 'em High" on my way back from lunch - and then "Dead!" on my way home after leaving the office - and then......you get the picture.

I'm hoping for the day when the church simply has conversations with people, instead of trying to make them obey our rules.

Cheerio!

The Last 16 Days: Part 2

2007-07-03T07:46:00.000-05:00

So...

Following the wonderful week at Summer in the Son, I headed back to Knoxville. Grayson to Knoxville is about a 4 hour trip. You take 64 W to a KY State Road that cuts over to 75 S, which takes you to K-town. I was trucking along, anxious to see my wife again and excited about seeing Mom (and how much packing they'd finished - the more they did, the less I had to!)

I got off 64, took the state road, stopped for gas and a sandwich and headed down 75 at about 77 mph. Three minutes after I got on 75, I hit traffic that slowed me to 20 mph or less. Boooooooo! Please Note: This is the beginning of a couple of comical things that happened to me during the move - end note.

There were construction signs, so I figured we'd take a half an hour and get through it and be on our way. Not the case. Almost two and a half hours later (30 minutes before I was supposed to be home) I had traveled less than two miles.

I commissioned Nicole and mom to find me an alternate route. I made my way to the shoulder and began passing a lot of traffic to try and get to the exit. I assumed that everyone else was staying on the interstate and that I could hop of the exit and be on my merry way. Wrong again. I finally got off the exit at the three hour mark. I should now be home helping to pack the final things and get ready for the movers. Instead, I'm on another side road in Kentucky.

To make a long story short, the alternate route that Nicole and mom found was the same alternate route that the state of Kentucky found. That translated into an 8 hour trip that should have been 4. And 4 of those hours were spent going 3 miles.

So I made it to Knoxville, but only in time to eat and pack a little and sleep in preparation for the movers.

The next day the movers came and all went well with them (James, DC and Mike were excellent, and quite comical). It took them about 2 hours to move the stuff out and then we packed some breakables in our vehicle and began the cleaning process. It took much longer than I thought and we didn't get gone from K-town until about 6:30 or 7. All was going well as we pulled into a gas station off of 65 N about 30 miles north of Louisville. It was secluded and as I was filling the white bomb (Crown Victoria) with gas, I realized that the keys, and the cat, were locked in the car. To add insult to injury, we only have one key to the white bomb because it costs more to make a key than the car is worth.

The local wrecker wouldn't come, so AAA found us one - and an hour later we were on our way again. I was not the most popular person that night as Nicole, mom and me pulled into our new house (rental house) at 1:30 in the morning. The movers were going to be there at 9 am to unload. Woops.

So, 9 am turned into 10 which quickly turned into 11:00, and the movers were finally there (if you're keeping a running tab of "comical things" this would be number 3 - 8 hour trip from grayson, locked keys, late movers). They pulled there massive moving truck up to the front of the house to figure out where they should back it up. Our house sits on a road that sits on a ridge, so the road is narrow. The moving truck took up a lot of the road, but I managed to squeeze by in the white bomb without scraping trees or running off the road. For that reason I was behooved when I heard the horn of a small, silver, Audi sports car honking at the truck (which had no people in it). The man said that we could have people moving in and out of this house anymore and that if the truck didn't move he was calling the sheriff. We said okay, moved the truck so he could pass and then backed it up to the house. It was as out-of-the-road as it could be (this being number 4 - oh, and it should be known that the sherrif he was going to call is an active member of our new church. Oh, how I wish he would've called.)

The movers got everything in. And the next comical thing came. Every sink leaks, the hall bathroom's shower had a continuous stream of running water (which I'm paying for even as I write this), the sliding door is missing a seal which means that bugs crawl through at will and the ceiling fans are installed improperly - in other words, if we run the one above our bed, its going to fall on us. In all seriousness, the house is in pretty good shape. Our landlord had the handyman out immediately. He's coming back today to fix more of the problems.

We got the kitchen and living room done, along with most of our bedroom and bathroom, before we flew off to Tim and Court's wedding. The rest is still a work in progress. To close, lets recount the "comical things" - (1) the 8 hour trip that should've been 4, (2) locking the keys in the car, (3) the movers being late, (4) the angry man in the sports car, (5) all the problems with the house.

Nonetheless, it was fun.

Up next...The Wedding.

The Last 16 Days: Part 1

2007-07-03T07:23:00.000-05:00

Good morning! For all of you waiting in anticipation, today is the day I update for the first time in 16 days. It's been a crazy two weeks - Beginning with...

On June 17-22, I made a trip to Grayson, KY to meet my new youth group for the first time (and I left my Nicole in Knoxville to pack for our upcoming move, which my Mom helped her out with - more on the move in Part 2). It was my first time to KCU, my first time to Summer in the Son and my first time to meet most of the 13 high schoolers who made the trip.

Sunday evening began slowly as we played a few games and sat through the opening concert, performed by David Crowder*Band (great show, one of the few contemporary Christian artist I enjoy). Following the concert we played some "get-to-know-you" games. The first one involved saying your name, and adjective and an animal beginning with the same letter (for instance, Tony the Terrible Tiger). I don't remember what mine was. You said your name, then the next person said yours and theirs, so by the time the last few people were doing it, they were saying a dozen or so names.

Monday progressed fine and proved to be the "breakthrough" day for the group and me. We went to a near by lake and tried to peg each other in the face with nurf balls. The competitive nature of trying to nail one another in the nose broke down many walls that were left and at that point we began to become pretty close group.

The following days were amazing and consisted of lots of potato salad, building walls for a home with Crossroads, skipping a main session to play volleyball, a building burning down (not a KCU building), many worships sets that felt like concerts (blah!), a speaker who clapped randomly (double blah!!) and lots of fun.

On the last night we went around the circle with each person giving their favorite moments. Many of them expressed gratefulness for the messages and worship, for getting to build walls with Crossroads or for the workshops. I was presently surprised when many also mention that despite their fears, they were happy to know me and thought that this ride was going to be a good one. It was hard to accept me because the previous youth minister was so beloved and left on good terms. However, the week at SITS helped build relationships with them.

I missed my wife, but it was the best way I could've opened up the ministry here. Good timing.

Nicole did well back home, with help from Mom. We talked each night. Hopefully this is the start of many good times and great relationships.

Coming up Next - The move.

I'll Be Seeing You

2007-06-16T08:36:00.000-05:00

In the movie "The Notebook" there is a song entitled "I'll Be Seeing You" that is played at different times and in various ways throughout the movie. The song recounts "familiar" places that draw to memory good times with a special person. At first listen, it seems like a happy song about love and how one lover will see the other one. However, a closer listen reveals that, in the song, the singer is only seeing someone in his/her mind. In other words, the song is about seeing different places where something good happened and remember the person whom it happened with.

At this point this song resonates with me. We are, at this point, saying goodbye to friends that (after Tim and Court's wedding) we don't know when we'll see again. We're going to have a limited amount of days to take off work, not to mention the baby, with will also restrict travel. We're going to be at least five and in many cases thriteen hours away - not an easy day trip. Our friends will have the same problem - okay, at least with the days off and travel time - not all of you are having kids. We're going to try and make it to homcoming, but who knows?

However, I'll always remember the long conversations, games of nerts and speed scrabble, trips to Florida, shows, mischief, getting drinks, the Brewery, the dorms, making fun of each other, etc. So, I guess, I'm with Billie Holliday when she says "I'll be seeing you in all the old familiar places."

I've been blessed with the best friends anyone could ask for. I feel like I have 8 or 10 friends who I could call for anything at anytime, and visa versa. I love each and every one of you. You are the best, and will continue to be.

A Note:

What got me thinking about this was a final din-din and Starbucks run with Count, Linds, Erin and J. Blum on thrusday as well as my last day of work that same day. People are actually moving! How crazy!

On the Issues

2007-06-14T08:31:00.000-05:00

All right - rarely do I ever venture into the realms of politics. It's dangerous, sticky business that effects us all but that is very complicated and messy and unpopular. When discussed, tempers often flare and sometimes fists fly and those who disagree, for some reason, seem to rarely be friends - and if they are, they don't talk about their political views.

It is, therefore, with fear and trembling that I touch on this very hot topic. I've always felt unworthy to venture into the arena of commenting on politics, however, I stumbled upon a website yesterday that was very helpful at giving balanced, unbiased (for the most part) information on all the potential presidential candidates (and all other federal politicians). The website is www.ontheissues.com. You simply select a politician and click on an issue to see what he or she things about it. It even gives a detailed account of all their bill votes and has links to quotes and stories from them on the various issues. It has proven to be quite insightful.

Now, since the last election I've been thinking that I should be more informed about my vote and that I really want to find a presidential candidate that I can firmly stand behind - not one that I stand behind just because, but one that I actually believe in, one that I feel like I half-way trust.

It must be said that the verdict is still out on this one - However...

The well known character actor and former senator for the state of Tennessee, Fred Thompson, announced a couple of night ago that he would be vying for the Republican ticket in the upcoming presidential election. The reason that I bring this up is that, from what I've read, he seems to be the closest thing to a genuine, no-bull-crap candidate that I've seen. Sure he is an actor, but so was Ronald Reagan. In his 1994 campaign for Tennessee Senator, his trademark was a plain old red Chevy Pick up truck. He used it to say, "I'm gonna do this thing my way because I can't play all your political games and I'm not gonna act all polished and refined. I am who I am."

I like that in a candidate. One of the things I want most from a president, a representative, a senator, a mayor or any other publicly elected official is the truth. I will give attention to anyone - right or left, republican or democrat or independent - who will stop the bull crap and start telling the truth. Is this wishful thinking? Probably so, but I'm in to pipe dreams. Fred, above all the other candidates, seems like a guy that will tell the truth and be least likely to compromise.

As a disclaimer: I'm not putting this out here on the www to try and influence anybody. I'm not even saying I'm going to vote for Fred, I'm just interested in who I will vote for and thought I'd share some of the things I've learned over the past few days and weeks, in case it might help someone else who's looking for a candidate they can vote for with confidence, too.

Parks, Moving and Leviticus

2007-06-13T05:49:00.000-05:00

Less than a quarter mile behind Bonny Kate Middle School (directly beside a branch of the Knoxville Public Library) there is a small park called French Memorial Park. Of all the parks in Knoxville, this park is a favorite of ours. A little over two years ago we stumbled upon it when taking an afternoon drive. We had the day off because of homecoming and we decided to drive around. This also happens to be the same day that I first told Nicole that I loved her and it was at French Memorial that I took 45 minutes to do so. She laughs pretty hard about it now, because I seemed so nervous about it; and I was. I had never really loved a girlfriend before, so it was a big deal.

I went on forever about my feelings for her, and then, I told her. She replied by saying that she loved me too. We love this park most of all the parks in Knoxville because it holds sentimental value. It was here we reached a milestone in our relationship: The I Love You stage! Now as we walk the circle (5 times around is a mile!) We laugh and tell stories, and even though we're moving we hope to be able to walk with our daughter in that very park and make some new memories there, with her.

Our baby sheads new light and puts new perspective on everything. Much like Nicole, she makes everyday a little bit better. You know that feeling when you well up with so much joy and excitement that you just don't know what to do to get those feelings out? This happens everytime I feel her move in Nicoles belly. I want to run and yell and tell everyone how great she is. Life is rapidly changing, but I like it.

This is my last week at the current job. Yesterday Tim and the office took me out to lunch (with Mayor Ragsdale) as a celebration of my departure and a celebration of Heather's arrival. I'll miss the people I work with. Unfortunatley, I don't think I'll miss the job, or the school. The job is sometimes painfully boring and I've become weary of being at the school (don't get me wrong, I still love it, but I'm ready to leave).

I've heard ministry can be many different things: exciting, hard, fulfilling, painful, etc. However, I've never heard of anyone saying that ministry is boring. That's okay. I'll take the excitement of a challenge and the pain over the boredome any day.

One last thing - I'm reading through Leviticus right now. I think I'm going to begin studying it through the eyes of Jesus to see how he chose to live out (or flesh out) the commands in Leviticus. Hopefully this will give some insight into how I can really flesh out a walk with Jesus. I mention this to ask - Has anyone reading ever done a study like this before? Any suggestions on books/commentaries?

Grace and peace.

Ben Witherington: Commentator and Blogger

2007-06-08T15:22:00.001-05:00

I receive Asbury Theological Seminary's semi-annual magazine, The Asbury Herald. In the issue I'm reading now, there's an article about bloging as a new form of the spiritual discipline of journaling. As I read, I was intrigued to find that Asbury actually has its own blog and that there are links to many students blogs on the site.

Jeana Clark, the author of the article and a 2005 graduate of the seminary, noted that taking the Seminary's blog live "was our aim to take our classroom, chapel, and hallway conversations public and make them open to others to join us. We wanted to pull back the proverbial curtains and allow people to see our community and join it."

I thought this was interesting, so I pulled up the website and began to read through it. I was excited (and surprised) to find that one of the people who had a blog linked on the Asbury site was Dr. Ben Witherington III. I had the pleasure of reading through his commentaries on Acts and Romans (for Acts class and Romans class). They were great reads and I've always appreciated his style.

I've added a link to his personal website and linked his blogs under "blogs of friends" on my blog. Even though he doesn't know I exist, I figure we're friends in the Spirit.

I found it cool that a Seminary professor with a Ph.D from the University of Durham in England, has become involved in the campus community in this way. I kind of wish I could go there now.

Rip Van Goofy: Story for a Baby

2007-06-07T05:23:00.000-05:00

Nicole and I try as much as we can to read to the baby at night. Babies know their mothers voice well because they hear it everytime the mothers talks, however, they don't hear the father's as often and therefore, they don't know it as well. So for a few weeks now we've read her different stories and nursery rhymes. Last night we read a story called "Rip Van Goofy." It was amazing! Rip Van Goofy goes off to fish and falls asleep while fishing. He wakes up fourty years later to find that everything has changed. He finally reconnects with his old friend, Mickey Van Bummel, and Rip Van Goofy never goes fishing again without Mickey to wake him up.

Since we read so the baby will know my voice, Nicole found it very funny when I began creating different voices for each character. She let me do it for a while, then finally I did Mickey Van Bummel's voice again and she lost it. I was quite offended at first, but then she explained.

I read the rest of the story in my own voice.

There are two things I learned from this story: (1) I'm not very smart and (2) I should do voice-overs for cartoons. My Mickey Van Bummel was scrumtrulecent.

This is going to be an amazing ride. Come September 6th, come!

On Generostiy

2007-06-06T15:00:00.000-05:00

Generous: "characterized by a noble or forbearing spirit; magnanimous; kindly; liberal in giving; openhanded; marked by abundance or ample proportions."

Generosity: "the quality or fact of being generous; a generous act; abundance."

Above are definitions of "generous" and "generosity" from www.m-w.com. I note them because I'd like to make an observation about generosity. When one thinks about generosity it will not take long for the giving of money to come to mind. Monetary gifts are one of the most common forms of generosity on the planet, in both religious and non-religious circles.

As a youngster my parents attempted to teach me many things; manners, social skills, etc (I didn't pick up on all the social skills). One of these "parental teachings" was about being generous. It began at an early age by the simple act of learning to share toys; to be generous with what I had been given. As I got older, the teachings on generosity moved to other things, like generosity with time and money. In fact, one thing that Ma and Pa have taught for as long as I can remember is to give without expecting in return. It is something that I try to practice everyday. I like to be generous and I try to do it without expecting anything in return. I fail, but I try.

I think this is one of the main reasons why I got so angry yesterday. A certain gentleman was upset because the institution to which he gives "thousands of dollars" wasn't giving him special favors at his request. The man proceeded to threaten to stop giving. The word came down that he was allowed to be demanding because of his "generous" giving.

And now my observation about generosity.

If one gives expecting something in return and then threatens to stop giving unless he gets what he wants, he is not a generous man; he's a consumer. He has simply paid for a service; bought a product. I pray that when/if I have money to give, I give it with no strings attached. And if I ever begin to demand things because of my "generosity," I hope the people I give to will call me out on it, and I hope I repent.

God has given us Jesus, but not as leverage to get what he wants. We should all model such generosity.

Christ Plays

2007-06-05T06:21:00.000-05:00

Currently I'm reading through a book called "Christ Plays in Ten Thousand Places," by Eugene Peterson. Now, technically I'm reading through several books, but of the ones I'm reading for me (and not for class) this is the one I'm pushing through the fastest. There are a couple of quotes I'd like to share with you from the sections I read last night.

"It is the devil's work to get us worked up thinking and action for God and then subtly detach us from a relational obedience and adoration of god, substitution our selves, our godlike egos, in the place originally occupied by God" (pg. 31). Althought Peterson is definitly not the first person to say this, it impacted me as I read it last night. It made me thing of "The Screwtape Letters" where Screwtape counsels Wormwood to keep the person he's tempting confused and occupied by things other than God.

I think it hit me because temptation is most often talked about in terms of the temptation to do something overtly and obviously wrong. However, it is probably more accurate that the kind of tempting that our enemy is most succesfull at is the temptation to become idolators by replacing God, with activity for God; by confusing us into thinking that just because we are busy we are doing something.

Peterson suggests that Jesus is the prime factor in keeping "relational obedience and adoration of God" in its proper place. I love it. We obey out of a desire for relationship and because we adore God.

Adoration of God leads me to quote two, which is in the context of Peterson's call to cultivate "fear-of-the-Lord." He describes our respons to "fear-of-the-Lord" as worship, adoration, prayer and awe. He then describes the type of awe we should have when encountering God: "Like lost children happening on a clearing in the woods and finding elves and fairies singing and dancing in a circle around a prancing two-foot-high unicorn, we stop in awed silence to accommodate to this wonderful but unguessed-at revelation."

Now, my first respons to this sentence was to read it aloud to Nicole and then to laugh. But after I laught I said, "I like that." Despite the fact that it's obviously redonkulous and a bit creepy, the picture works in my head. I would stop and simply stare in awe if I came upon a two-foot-high unicorn surrounded by elves and fairies (of course, once I got over it I'd also make a joke about Santa needing his lil' workers back).

I like it becaue I would just stand in awestruck silence trying to figure it out. I want to stand like that before God more often. Silent because I'm captivated by wonder and beauty, aweful because I want more.

There are tons of other good quotes, but this is too long already. Christ Plays in Ten Thousand Places is the first part in a five part serious on spiritual theology, by Peterson. I'm looking forward to all five.

The Verdict

2007-06-04T14:46:00.000-05:00

My nerves began to build as Nicole and I drove north on I-75 Saturday evening. We had stopped by Tyler's apartment to see him, as well as Brandon and Savannah, and the five of us went to lunch at Charlie Peppers. The girls left lunch early and went to hang at Nicole's baby shower while Brandon, Tyler and I went to Disc Exchange to peruse for some 'killer tunes'. We spent the better part of an hour and a half there, finding many jewels yet buying only a few. My purchases were Maroon 5's It Won't Be Soon Before Long and The Shins' Wincing the Night Away. Both are stupendous, however, I'm more pleased with the Shins than Maroon 5; Nicole is the opposite, taking Maroon 5 over the Shins.

After meeting back at Tyler's apartment and chatting for a while, Nicole and I split for our trip north to Nashville, IN - and this is the point at which I remembered that in just over 12 hours I would be preaching to a congregation I had only met once and whom would be voting on me after I preached.

My stomach began feeling the tension. It was small throughout Saturday night and was larger as I awoke from a bad night of sleep Sunday (the bad night of sleep was caused by three things, the first being the fact that when we arrived in Nashville around 10:00 PM we decided to drive to Bloomington and didn't actually get to the hotel until 11:00 PM, the second being that I preached my sermon to Nicole twice before we went to bed and the third being that I forgot my allergy medicine and my nose blew up in the middle of the night).

The sermon went pretty well all in all. It went better during the second service than it did the first. During the first service I was more tense and some of my jokes didn't go over as well as I'd planned. The second time I was much more relaxed and the jokes went better (due to a mixture of better timing and the teens who were present in the second service).

During both services a vote was taken and at the fellowship 'snack-gathering' the Senior Minister, Tim Bond, announced that I'd passed - and a weight was lifted. In this case, Nada Surf was wrong, the weight was not a gift.

The day got even better when we found out that the price had been lowered on a 3 bedroom rental house that we liked very much. So on this day that began stressfully, we got a new job and found the cute house that we'll call home our first few years in ministry. The day was good.

We headed back around 5:00, which put us home around 11:30 (due to a stop at Steak 'n Shake). A lot of stress was taken off of us by finding a place to live this weekend; now we don't have to visit there again this coming weekend. Which will allow us to visit Woodlawn again for the first time in a month (that's right, we've been out of town for over a month on the weekends - blah!). I think this will be the last visit.

It was a good day.

I'll close with the play-list that kept the goodness going as I drove to work this morning and will keep it going as I drive home in 35 minutes:

1. Penny Lane - The Beatles
2. Boys in the Bathtub - Aloha
3. Kissing the Lipless - The Shins
4. Caring is Creepy - The Shins
5. Life on a Chain - Pete Yorn
6. Thunderbolt - Patrick Park
7. Always Love - Nada Surf

The verdict is in - it was a fine weekend indeed.

On Friends and Congregational Votes

2007-06-01T05:59:00.000-05:00

I've been watching episodes of Friends with Nicole lately. Although I've traditionally made fun of the show, it's actually quite funny, and for the record my favorite Friend is Chandler. However, I don't think I want to finish the tenth season. The entire show is about making people laugh. I'm not attached one bit to any storyline or any character, I just like the jokes. However, the tenth season's getting all sad and mushy. Friends are buying a house and moving away and starting new lives.

I think maybe I don't want to watch it because it reminds me of our current state of life. Some of my best friends have moved away. I'm moving away. I'll be forced (against my will) to make new friends, which for someone who only gets sympathy laughter for his jokes because his friends feel sorry for his lack of wit, is a pretty earth-shaking ordeal. Nonetheless, it is a necessary part of life. One that makes us grow and helps us to learn new things.

So I'll resolve to watch the final episodes of friends and celebrate with them on their new adventures, just as I will with my friends. We are all going to do great, great things.

And now...a note on congregational votes.

I'm going to Nashville, IN this weekend to preach at the church where I've been asked to become youth minister. As if speaking for the first time at a new church isn't nerve racking enough - they're holding the congregational vote this weekend as well. I certainly hope they vote yes. If they vote no the fellowship dinner afterwards is going to be very awkward. If you find time, a small prayer would be appreciated.

And finally, some things that will make today great:

A) Brandon and Savannah are coming to town.
B) Last day of work this week.
C) I'm married to Nicole.
D) I'll probably feel the baby kick today.
E) I'll listen to the Beatles in a minute as I drive to work.

Registries

2007-05-30T05:06:00.000-05:00

A few delightful friends decided to throw a baby shower in my wife's (and unborn daughter's) honor. Whoever created the baby shower or wedding shower was quite the genius. Get engaged or get pregnant and you get a party where people give you stuff you want and its not your birthday. Crazy. However, the news of this baby shower led to one task that left me quite scared - registering.

When Nicole and I registered for our wedding it took the better part of six hours and two nervous breakdowns (one for each of us). It was fun for about 18 minutes and then it became a stressful train-wreck of trying to find out what we need and what dish patter fit us best and what color rubber handle we wanted on the pizza cutter (the pizza cutter we never got, I might add). Luckily we both made it through this experience with little or no permanent harm done.

The wedding registry experience was the reason my heart stopped when Nicole said, "We need to go register for the baby shower." I think I audibly laughed because I knew what was coming - a six hour shopping trip with two nervous breakdowns.

We went last night after work.

It was amazing. Not at all stressful and not all that difficult to manage. We went to Target and Babies R Us, both out in west Knoxville, and it took about half as much time as the wedding registry. I guess adorable outfits and the smallest jeans ever helped us to focus on who we were shopping for - Baby Gooch.

It was truly fun. I had a truly wonderful time with my wife (and we found a sweet stroller/car seat/carrier combo with little G's all over it - amazing). I read to my daughter when we got home.

The moral of the story - I'm excited about her getting here!

The Beatles and Musical Influence

2007-05-29T05:41:00.000-05:00

I've recently re-discovered the Beatles. It's more of a discovery though because up to this point I've only ever listened to them out of respect, never really paying attention to any of the songs and knowing the words to only those songs which have found their way into my head through pop culture (commercials, movies, etc.).

May 17, 2007 was the discovery date. I was driving, alone, from Knoxville, TN to Nashville, TN to meet Nicole so that we could catch a plane bound for Disney World (more on our Disney World adventure in a later post). Driving alone is fun. I'm given the opportunity to think and ponder, and listen to good music. As I flipped through the CD case in the car I noticed the Beatles album "Revolver" and it said (almost audibly) "put me in." And so I did.

Glorious.

My favorite song of the day was a toss up between "I'm Only Sleeping," "Yellow Submarine" and "Good Day Sunshine." "Eleanore Rigby" gets an honorable mention.

It was on this trip that a new theory entered my mind. I think that the Beatles may be the musical, lyrical and conceptual foundation for every musical influence that I've ever had. I've yet to think of one band or artist whom I enjoy or respect who is not in some way influenced (directly or indirectly) by the work of the Beatles.

It makes me think that I should throw everything else away and listen only to them from now on. Everything else I listen to, while still very good in its own right, is still in many ways an inferior copy of the original.*

Good day, sunshine.

*Just as a note, I'm not going to stop listening to other music. Simply relaying a feeling.